In the first of a series of articles, which together will form a customisable development programme, we explain how you can have a fantastic 2017 in all areas of work and life, writes Neil O'Brien.
The good news is that I’m not going to ask you to set any goals for this year. Let’s resolve to have no resolutions, object to objectives, and the goal is not to have any. I agree, goals can help and I’m all for having a clear sense of direction – but don’t start there. That’s the mistake most people make.
We’re going to take an alternative approach this year: we’re going to make a bigger deal of getting the process working better and then look at what we might achieve. And, of course, enjoy the adventure along the way.
“I’m not in the mood”
One of the most important elements of goal-setting that’s rarely mentioned is the mood you’re in when you set the goals. The best time to set goals or create a vision is when you’re in great form; when things are going really well – not when you’re struggling. If you’re a bit low for the month of January, please don’t do the following: join a gym, go on a diet, give up smoking, buy a self-help book, or make plans for the future. These things will make you feel even lower when you don’t follow through.
The lowdown on the lows
When we feel low we’ve poor habits, no structure, no discipline, no motivation; we’ve lost our shape and we’re all over the place. We allow standards to slip and our mantra becomes “What’s the point? Sure we’re grand”. We undervalue ourselves and allow others to undervalue us too. By the way, feeling ‘low’ is perfectly normal and no-one is doing anything wrong. Everyone feels low from time-to-time. The important thing is not to spend too long there and to know how to get from low to strong quickly when you want to.
The strength of the highs
When we’re in top form, we’ve a natural high and we’re effortlessly strong. Now, as if by magic, we’ve wonderful habits, structure and discipline, and are easily motivated. We don’t allow standards to dip and our mantra becomes “We’re better than this. We can do better than this”. This feeling of easy motivation and effortless discipline is also a natural state and available to us all the time. So how do we get from ‘low’ to ‘strong’ quickly? The first thing to say is that it can happen really fast. We’re in the realm of mood management and moods can change really quickly.
It’s hero time!
Don’t worry; you don’t have to jump off a tall building or anything. The secret to improving your mood and also valuing yourself more is by getting ‘proof’ that you’re a valuable human being. What do you have to do to prove to yourself that you’re valuable? And, what are your current sources of this proof? This is where it gets tricky because there are some temporary quick fixes that people are drawn to.
The quick fix
The first two quick fixes are constantly being ridiculously busy and overindulging in people pleasing. This works because if other people like me and I’m in demand all the time, then I must be a good person. Of course, this now means we’re completely compromised in that we need these people to like us and we need to be busy. The other quick fix is roleplaying – pretending to be strong. On one level, this makes sense because on a ‘low’ day we still have to meet important clients, for example. The downside of constantly roleplaying, however, is that it’s exhausting.
The right thing is the right fix
The irony is that the right fix can be even quicker than a quick fix, but it may be a little bit more uncomfortable. The best fix of all is integrity: our ability to do the right thing even though no-one is watching. Sometimes it may be to ‘say’ the right thing rather than ‘do’ the right thing.
Superpower!
You’re doing this not just because it’s the right thing to do but also because in that moment, you’ll prove to yourself that you’re a valuable person. Let this be your superpower for 2017. You’ll leave work with a bundle of energy and enthusiasm because you’ll know that when you were tested today, you tapped into your higher self and your inner peak performer.
Super homework
As we embark on this adventure of trusting the process, your homework is to set a daily intention of personal and professional integrity as much as you can. It may even become a habit!