Overcoming exam disappointment

Everything doesn’t always go to plan, especially when it comes to your exams. When the results come in, you might feel like you have disappointed yourself and others. However, their disappointment is more about themselves than you and it can be overcome, says Cyril Conroy.

When we don’t succeed at an exam, our heads can become flooded with thoughts and fears. We question whether we are good enough, what we did wrong and, most of all, what people will think.  

There are a few things you need to keep in mind if you don’t get the result you expected in your exams.

Under pressure

Whatever stage of your Chartered Accountancy education you are in, the exams are hard. Really, really hard. 

Because of this, you might have put a tremendous amount of time into your studies. Or, maybe you took it a little easy, thinking that you had a particular paper in the bag. 

Then, a question comes up and you find yourself drawing a blank on the answer – it could be a lack of preparation, or it could be the pressure of other’s expectations making you clam up.

Regardless of the reason, you have your result and it’s not good. You are down and feeling low. And it hurts.

There is tremendous pressure and embarrassment when the result isn’t as good as you’d hoped it would be.

Our reactions have meaning

When some people fail, they just get right up, do it again and feel no pressure. Others might panic when even presented with the possibility of failing. The important thing is that we try to understand our reactions. What is driving our response to failure? 

First, you should know that it’s OK to feel down in the dumps about not succeeding in your exams. 

Second, know you are where you need to be. Feeling bad about the result and the prospect of repeating is understandable. 

The statement “you are not an exam result” is very true. However, when presented with a less-than-stellar grade, you might feel like it does, in fact, define you. 

The feeling can be exacerbated by other’s reactions. They say things like, “you’ll be fine” or “it all will work out in the end”. People throw so many clichés at you, you’ll regret ever telling anyone your result in the first place. 

By making these comments, people are trying to be supportive; they are made with good intention and can be encouraging for some, just not everyone and, more importantly, they might just feel like piled-on pressure to you.

We can receive encouragement and support from our parents, peers and employers but, sometimes, there can be an awful lot of expectation pointed in our direction. 

Part of the reason we feel so disappointed in a bad result is because we feel we have let down our support network.

Moving on

When you feel the pressure from others – before, after or even during the exams – it’s important to remember that what these people do or say is more about them than it is about you. It’s about how they think you should feel and react to the pressure and expectation about your career, for good or bad.

However, the way we react to these comments is about ourselves.  

If you do not succeed at your exam, it’s important to separate yourself from the comments people are making about your exam result. If you are feeling overwhelmed – that the ‘failure’ overrides all words – talking to someone about the pressure could help. This could be a mentor, friend outside of the profession, or even a therapist.

The word ‘fail’, simply put, is ridiculous. Things just don’t work out sometimes. Accepting this and having compassion for yourself is key at this time. 

Not succeeding at something is an opportunity to learn so much about yourself. You may not feel it now, but it does make you stronger. You do learn from it. 

The important thing I learned is that the fail was not me – and it’s not the definition of you, either.

Thrive is the Institute's dedicated wellbeing service that provides a range of supports to members and students. If you are struggling exam disappointment, exam stress or anything related to student life, please know our in-house wellbeing team can help.