What is Thrive?

Lots of us are good at showing compassion and kindness to other people. What many of us aren't great at is showing ourselves the same understanding. Our inner critic and negative self-talk can be hard to ignore. But dwelling on mistakes and focusing on faults makes it hard to maintain personal resilience and good mental wellbeing. We could all use a little more self-compassion. The concept of self-compassion has three important elements: Mindfulness - being aware of your thoughts and feelings without judging them or dwelling on them Common humanity - a recognition that no one is perfect and that we all make mistakes Self-kindness - caring for yourself the way you would a friend or loved one in a similar situation Why is self-compassion good for your mental wellbeing? Research shows that people who exercise higher levels of self-compassion tend to be more resilient than those who don't. They have less of a physical response to stressful situations and spend less time dwelling on them after the fact. This is partly because self-compassion involves actively recognising your strengths and achievements, which boosts self-confidence and our belief in our ability to cope with difficult situations. But self-compassion also has an impact on our biology. Stress is your body's natural response to a perceived threat, sometimes called the 'fight or flight' response. A study by the Universities of Exeter and Oxford has found that exercising self-compassion helps to calm the heart rate and shut down this threat response. Participants in the study demonstrated a state of relaxation and security. They also reported feeling a stronger connection with other people. If you exercise self-compassion, you're also more likely to adopt healthy self-care behaviours such as getting plenty of exercise, eating well and establishing healthy sleep patterns. Put simply, you're more likely to make choices that boost your physical health, which is crucial for your mental wellbeing.  Self-compassion also encourages personal and professional development, which in turn improves our confidence and self-esteem. That's because it allows us to consider our strengths and skill set objectively without fear of criticism and judgement. We're then able to identify areas for improvement and make a change for the better. 5 ways to show yourself more compassion At its heart, self-compassion is about self-care or looking after yourself the way you would a friend. In fact, thinking about what you might say to a loved one in a similar situation is a good starting point. What advice would you give them? Here are a few ways you can start showing yourself a little more kindness and understanding: Practice mindfulness - learn how to notice and observe your thoughts without judging them. Mindfulness encourages you to be curious and self-aware, understanding that your thoughts and assumptions are just that. They're not facts. Reward yourself - celebrate your successes and achievements. Keep a list of your personal skills and strengths to review in moments of self-doubt Take a break - time away from your day-to-day routine and a change of scenery can help you keep things in perspective Strengthen your connections - kindness is contagious! By showing love and understanding to the people who are important to you, you're more likely to show yourself the same compassion Do things you enjoy - spending time on our passions, hobbies and interests is good for the soul. Article reproduced with the kind permission of CABA, the organisation providing lifelong support to ICAEW members, ACA students and their close family around the world.

Social anxiety - sometimes known as social phobia - is a type of anxiety that causes intense, overwhelming and persistent fear or anxiety surrounding social settings and situations. Social anxiety is more than shyness, it can be extremely distressing and have a huge impact on our quality of life.  It can affect our every day and impact our relationships, performance at work or school, and most of all our self-confidence. Many people worry about social situations from time to time but a person with social anxiety will worry about and catastrophise social situations before, during and after them. Some may have limited or selective social anxiety – they can accomplish activities or particular tasks and go about their day but will experience a certain amount of fear or anxiety when they do, causing a huge emotional toll at times. Some may avoid places or situations that could cause distress due to concerns of being scrutinized, judged or being embarrassed by their actions. For others with severe social anxiety, it can be so intense that they will avoid all social situations and interactions like asking a question in a meeting, taking public transport or using other shared public facilities or eating in public.  Symptoms of Social Anxiety You may have social anxiety if you engage or experience the following: Intense worry or dread about a social situation or activities such as meeting strangers, starting or holding conversations, engaging in group conversations, speaking on the phone, working or shopping Avoid social situations or places where there are other people or try to blend into the background Feel self-conscious or fear doing something embarrassing Missing work or school due to anxiety Concerned others will notice their nervousness or anxiousness Consuming alcohol or other substances to help face social settings For a person with social anxiety, social situations may lead to or cause a whole host of reactions: Blushing, sweating, trembling, dry mouth or difficulty speaking Have a rapid heart rate, dizziness or feeling lightheaded Feel as if their mind goes blank or feel nauseous Difficulty making or maintaining eye control, rigid body posture Overcoming Social Anxiety Social anxiety is difficult to deal with and you should consider talking to your GP or a mental health professional for solutions and tactics to overcoming your anxiety.  Self-help is not a cure but it can help reduce your anxiety and symptoms. It might be a useful first step before trying other treatments.   Understand your anxiety If you suspect you or a loved one are dealing with social anxiety, seek out information to gain a better understanding of it. Research the signs and behaviour, learn about treatment options and seek out research. Compare which social situations you find the most difficult and make you the most anxious. Are there specific situation you struggle with more? Think about how you act in these situations – these reflections and awareness will give you a clearer picture of the specific areas and triggers you may have or why particular social environments induce anxiety. Exposure A core element of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) when dealing with anxiety is exposure therapy. This involves seeking out and engaging in activities where you feel anxious or activities that you avoid to ease discomfort. This can be tough and very daunting at first so best to start with small goals and targets and gradually expose yourself to more difficult activities and ones you fear most. As you begin to understand your triggers and situations that cause anxiety, you can create a list of situations that make you feel anxious and categorise them from a little anxiety inducing to terrifying. Begin to make your way down the list as your confidence builds. Examples of this could be saying hello to a stranger, asking a question or making a comment in a meeting to presenting in a room full of people. In the moment If you find yourself in a social setting or situation that is making you feel anxious, there are some simple coping techniques you could use to combat in-the-moment anxiety. Use your breath and engage in some simple breathing exercises as this helps calm the parasympathetic nervous system and instantly makes you feel more relaxed. It also helps you concentrate on the present moment and takes you away from the anxious or fearful thoughts you may be having. A simple one to remember is the 5-5-5 breath.  Inhale for 5 seconds, hold for 5 and breathe out for 5. Another coping technique for anxiety is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method which activates your senses and brings you back to the present moment. Acknowledge 5 things you see Acknowledge 4 things you can touch Acknowledge 3 things you can hear Acknowledge 2 things you can smell Acknowledge 1 thing you can taste If you feel as if your anxiety is getting the best of you and interfering with your quality of life, the Thrive Wellbeing Hub is here for you. We have a range of supports available to you as a member or student of the Institute. Learn more about how Thrive can help: https://www.charteredaccountants.ie/thrive-wellbeing-hub/how-we-help

Our Thriving Stories series dives into the real-life experiences of members in our profession and what they do to prioritise their wellbeing. Here, we hear from Meabh Cahill, Tax Associate at Grant Thornton NI Director and chair of the Institute's student society, CASSI. How do you prioritize your mental health, and what helps you manage stress? Mental health is an important topic to me as I believe it affects us as much as our physical health. I prioritise my mental health by using practices in my life that help me to be mindful such as yoga, being outside or even reading a book. Taking some time away from the stresses of life to be away from stressing thoughts or away from a screen is really key for me to manage stress. What role does physical activity play in your daily routine, and how do you stay motivated to maintain it? Physical activity plays a big part in my daily routine. I enjoy being outdoors whether this is walking, running, alone or in company, even a 20-minute period spent outside can have a big impact on feeling energised and reset. I play team sports such as tag and touch rugby which help me to get out of my head and think about something other than work or study for a few hours. Motivation is hard so I would say focus on how you will feel after getting out, count to 5 and get out the door! You will never regret doing it but you might regret it if you don’t. What are some self-care practices you incorporate into your life, and how do they benefit you? It might sound odd but the biggest self-care practice I do for myself is to plan and follow a routine where possible. I know I feel at my best when I am in a routine, and I give myself time to enjoy the little things in life like watching a move in the evening. If I know I need to do something the worst thing I can do for my self-care is procrastinate and put the task off as this causes two issues: the actual task and now the guilty feeling about not having done the task! By planning and sticking to a routine I can spend time doing things I love like sport or seeing my friends and not feel guilty about the tasks I should be doing. What do you think are the biggest barriers we face when it comes to discussing their health and wellbeing? I think we often don’t want to burden others with our problems, so we don’t share how we are feeling, or we feel embarrassed about our feelings. We might find that if we share more often, the reverse might be true in that people can relate with what we are feeling and it might give a friend or family member to confide in you and open up more about their own feelings. What are some areas of your health and wellbeing that you’d like to focus on or improve in the coming year? I would like to try and focus on trying some new activities and having new experiences in 2025. I believe that trying new things and putting yourself outside of your comfort zones can teach you how to deal with difficult feelings and overcoming fear. Sometimes it is easier said than done but that is the plan!