There are many reasons why our confidence can falter. Dawn Leane explains how we can overcome our self-doubt and silence our inner critic so we can achieve our goals
In the workplace, being confident means feeling self-assured and believing we are capable of achieving our objectives.
We often think that confidence is intrinsic; we either have it, or we don’t. In fact, our relationship with confidence is more likely to be influenced by our conditioning, life experiences and environmental factors.
Handling feedback
Confidence is one of those words that often triggers an emotional response in us, particularly if we struggle with it. We’ve all had an experience where we make a proposal or suggestion and have it critiqued.
If we work in a psychologically safe environment, we take feedback from colleagues and leaders at face value. We appreciate the input and guidance and trust that the motivation is to help us refine and improve the idea.
However, if the environment is not psychologically safe, we are much more likely to receive such feedback negatively. Perhaps we perceive it as criticism, a chance to settle a score or ‘mark our card’.
This is especially true when our work is deeply personal and connected to our values and sense of self. In this situation, it can be hard to avoid internalising or personalising feedback—and when we do, it has the potential to erode our confidence.
Limiting beliefs
While our environment is hugely significant in determining our level of self-assurance, we are also influenced by our own limiting beliefs.
A limiting belief is a state of mind or belief we think to be true, but one which will limit our potential. A limiting belief could be about you, your relationships with other people, or with the work environment.
Self-limiting beliefs have the greatest potential to negatively impact our ability to achieve our full potential and are usually developed in response to our experiences, and because we are shaped by these limiting beliefs, we then go on to adopt behaviours that reinforce them.
While many of our beliefs are formed as we grow up, we can develop new ones as we grow.
Our inner critic
Everyone has a voice in their head that reinforces their worst fears – an inner critic.
The voice may be a whisper, or it may be so loud that it paralyses us. The voice holds us back from trying new experiences and rubs failure in our faces.
It is possible to let go of limiting beliefs and tune out the inner critic, however. People can develop new ways of thinking and behaving that can help to create a positive narrative for themselves.
To help silence your inner critic and build your confidence, there are several steps you can take:
- Identify any self-limiting beliefs and the behaviours that have resulted from them;
- Consider where these beliefs might have come from;
- Reflect on instances where these beliefs have been shown to be incorrect; and
- Decide on new behaviours to replace the limiting beliefs, then practice and reinforce them
After acknowledging a self-limiting belief when it occurs, learn to replace it with something else.
Carol Dweck, Professor of Psychology at Stanford University, has a simple but effective solution: add the word ‘yet’ to any limiting belief. For example:
‘I don’t have much experience at public speaking… yet.’
By adding ‘yet’, it allows you to acknowledge your shortfalls while also identifying that you are actively working on correcting it.
Finding confidence
Being a self-assured person without doubt is a lofty goal and probably not a realistic one. Acknowledging your limiting beliefs and working on silencing your inner critic is important, however.
Your confidence will rise and you will be far more likely to achieve your objectives no matter the environment.
Dawn Leane is the Founder of Leane Leaders
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