Shyness can strike at any time, especially when you’re in a new situation with new people, such as at networking events. Jean Evans explains 12 ways you can overcome your shyness and make the most of any networking opportunity.

Networking can be intimidating even for the most seasoned networkers. Some days you just aren’t feeling great, aren’t in the mood, but you’ve got a commitment or networking meeting to attend. It’s more daunting when in a face-to-face environment, but the anxiety stills exist for online networking, especially if you’re shy.

Here are 12 ways to overcome that feeling of dread, fear, panic, and sheer overwhelm when you have a networking event to attend.

1. Find a wing-person

Find someone to attend your first events with you as they’ll give you that moral support to get you going. Let them know that you feel a bit shy and ask if they can introduce you to some people to make networking easier.

However, don’t make the mistake of sticking with just one person. Set yourself a target of speaking to two or three new people at an event. Be realistic with targets, but do set a goal for yourself so you have a metric to measure your success.

2. Arrive early

Whether you are networking online or in person, arriving early is an easy strategy to implement. If you arrive and people are actively engaged in a group conversation, it will be tough to ‘break in’ and join them if you are shy. By arriving early, you can welcome people into the room, which will help break the ice for the other person.

3. Smile

The best-dressed person in the room is always smiling. Smiling can put you at ease, relax your body language, and put the people arriving after you at ease too.

4. Ask questions

For shy people, launching into a speech or sharing an opinion can seem daunting and intimidating. Instead, try asking questions when you are in the group. It shows that you are interested in other people. You are then in the position of listening to the answer, and listening is easier than talking – particularly for shy people or introverts.

5. Be authentic

If you are shy or a shy introvert, do not try to be an extrovert. If you are trying to be someone you are not, you’ll end up completely depleted of energy and resources.

6. Be prepared

Prepare yourself with some questions and talking points. Take the time to gauge the conversation and get your bearings before contributing. A contribution that doesn’t make sense can end the flow of a conversation, which isn’t how you want to be remembered. On the other hand, if you actively listen, people will drop crumbs you can use to work into conversations.

If you are at a business networking event, have your elevator pitch ready.

7. Reframe your mindset

You need to have a positive mindset regarding the outcome of the event or networking meeting you are attending. If you think it will be negative, this will come across in your body language, making this belief a reality.

8. Networking is everywhere

People tend to associate networking with formal events, associations, referral meetings and conferences. However, your local book, rowing, cycling and football clubs are all sources for meeting people and engaging in informal networking. Furthermore, having an interest in common provides an instant ice-breaker.

9. Learn names

Everyone loves the sound of their name. It’s a good idea to say a person’s name out loud, as it acts as a sense of acknowledgement and inclusion. The person feels noticed, and repetition will help you remember their name. This all adds to your social capital and will stand you in good stead.

10. Embrace your passion

When nervous, answer a couple of questions:

• What do you do?
• Why do you do what you do?

When answering, people often forget about nerves and remember what they are doing and who they are serving.

11. Follow up

It’s essential to follow up with the people you meet to ensure that you are seen as credible and trustworthy. It helps build up the future of your relationship.

12. Host

A great way to get over your nerves is to act as the host of the event. Welcome people, smile and ask them if they’d like a cup of tea or coffee to make them feel at ease.

Be on alert for people who might be standing alone, who arrived late and are feeling a little out of place. If you are the person to break the ice and start a conversation, this will go so far in cementing a solid relationship.

There are myriad ways to learn how to network when you are shy. Learning to network will help you confidently develop personal and business relationships, and all of this will help you survive and thrive in business.

Jean Evans is a Networking Architect and Founder at NetworkMe.