Struggling with imposter syndrome? Jean Evans outlines practical strategies to help overcome self-doubt, boost your confidence and network effectively
I used to be the queen of feeling like an imposter. I didn’t have the language to describe what was happening to me, to describe the emotions and fear I felt. For decades in my corporate career, I simply never felt good enough. I always felt ‘less than’.
While the phrase ‘imposter syndrome’ has become ubiquitous, there is also a clarification to be made: it’s not a syndrome but rather a collection of feelings – not good enough and a fraud.
Imposter syndrome can manifest in several ways when it comes to networking:
- Simply not showing up. Not engaging at all because you aren’t ‘perfect’.
- Signing up for events and meetings and then suddenly becoming ‘too busy’ to attend and cancelling last minute.
- Showing up but slinking to the bar, coffee station, table or chair and attaching oneself as if life itself depends on it.
- Showing up but freezing when the opportunity arises to connect with others.
Managing imposter syndrome while networking can be challenging, but there are strategies you can employ to help you cope with these feelings and present yourself confidently.
1. Acknowledge your achievements
Remind yourself of your accomplishments and the skills and experience that qualify you to be in the networking event or situation. Reflect on your successes and recognise your value.
2. Practice self-compassion
Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Be aware that it’s natural to feel insecure sometimes, and it doesn’t diminish your worth.
Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself as you would to a friend in a similar situation.
3. Set realistic expectations
Understand that not every interaction needs to be perfect. Set realistic expectations for yourself and accept that it’s okay to feel nervous or unsure in networking situations.
4. Focus on learning
Instead of seeing networking events as opportunities to prove yourself, view them as opportunities to learn and grow. Shift your focus from trying to impress others to gathering information, making connections and expanding your knowledge.
5. Find a support system
Surround yourself with supportive friends, family members or mentors who can provide encouragement and reassurance when you’re feeling doubtful. Share your feelings with them – they may offer valuable perspectives and advice.
6. Visualise success
Visualise yourself confidently engaging in networking conversations and making meaningful connections. This mental rehearsal can help boost your confidence and reduce anxiety when you are in networking situations.
7. Practice assertive communication
Practice assertive communication techniques to express yourself confidently and effectively. Remember that it’s okay to ask questions, share your opinions and assert your expertise when appropriate.
8. Challenge negative thoughts
When you notice negative thoughts creeping in, challenge them with evidence that contradicts them. Remind yourself of your past successes and the reasons why you belong at the networking environment.
9. Take breaks when needed
If you start to feel overwhelmed or anxious during a networking event, it’s okay to take breaks. Step outside for some fresh air, grab a drink of water or simply find a quiet corner to collect your thoughts and regroup.
10. Seek professional help if necessary
If imposter syndrome is significantly impacting your well-being or ability to network effectively, consider seeking support from a therapist or counsellor. They can provide strategies and techniques tailored to your specific needs.
Remember that imposter syndrome is common and experienced by many successful individuals. By implementing these strategies and practising self-compassion, you can navigate networking situations with greater confidence and authenticity.
Jean Evans is a Networking Architect and founder of NetworkMe
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