Julia Rowan answers your management, leadership, and team development questions
I manage a large team which is split into three functions, each with a Team Leader, but I end up doing a lot of the TLs’ work. When there is an issue to be resolved, they will summarise it in an email and ask ‘what do you want me to do?’. I have spoken to them about this several times, but they keep doing it.
There are words, and there are actions. And ‘actions speak louder than words.’ A lovely pattern has been established here: they ask you for guidance, you tell them they shouldn’t—but you give it anyway. And off we go again. The longer this has been going on, the longer it will take to change it. You may need to be patient while a new pattern is established.
Email is a lovely place to avoid conversation, so the first step might be to reply to these messages with something like ‘Delighted to talk this through with you—when suits?’. Then have a few great questions ready: ‘what’s important in this situation?’, ‘what are your options here?’, ‘how can I support you with this?’. These questions encourage the TLs to think through the issue themselves, while you offer support. If this does not change the pattern, you could reflect on what might be sustaining their dependency on you and ask questions about that: ‘We’ve talked about this a few times, and I notice you are still coming to me for direction. I feel that your instincts are good and I’m wondering what’s preventing you from suggesting a way forward / tackling this yourself….?’.
If you meet with your three TLs as a group—which I hope you do regularly—you could make this an agenda point, encouraging them to report in on successes and challenges, supporting them in advising each other, etc. Remember, they need to create a new pattern with their team members too.
Two members of my team have had a dispute and are refusing to talk to each other or work together. It arose out of a simple enough miscommunication with ‘fault’ on both sides. I have been acting as a go-between in the hope that the situation would resolve itself, but it hasn’t. Team meetings have become very difficult as nobody speaks.
Often there is huge hurt behind conflict – so go tenderly in this space. You could begin by reflecting on ‘what is reasonable?’. Is it reasonable for two adults (in their roles, on their salaries) to refuse to engage with each other in a way that other people must pick up the pieces? I might also reflect—as you are—on whether I am colluding with them and keeping the dynamic going. You could talk to them about the impact their behaviour is having on you and the rest of the team. Have a reasonable ‘ask’ worked out in advance. Offer support, or to get support (e.g. from HR), but be led by the requirements of the role. Make sure to notice, and give feedback in response to, even small improvements. But, be prepared for one, or both, to move on.
If you read one thing...
Turn the Ship Around – A true story of turning followers into leaders by
David Marquet.
Marquet was made commander of a submarine he had not been trained to run and had to rely on his crew—a huge challenge in a ‘command and control’ culture. You can find him on YouTube—‘What is leadership with David Marquet’. I recommend the animated Mindspring version.
Julia Rowan is Principal Consultant at Performance Matters, a leadership team and development consultancy. To send a question to Julia, email julia@performancematters.ie
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