The coach’s corner -- October/November 2024

One of my direct reports manages a team of five. Nobody has complained about her, but there is a fairly high level of turnover on her team. She works incredibly hard to (mostly) very high standards. She sometimes spends too much time on unimportant issues and loses sight of the bigger picture. I have sat in on some of her team meetings: she is very task and deadline focused and quite tense. They are not bad meetings, but something is missing. She is very defensive around feedback and can get upset.

A. It can be hard to help somebody who is well-intentioned, hard-working and, in their own eyes anyway, doing the right thing. 

It sounds like she is quite anxious about her work or performance and the trick will be to find a balance between encouraging her (commitment, high standards, work rate) while ensuring that her singular focus does not hinder productivity or well-being. 

While feedback may be part of the response, you may also need to broaden out her sense of what it is to be a manager, i.e. it’s not only about getting the work done, but also about motivating and developing people along the way. 

It might also be useful to reflect on whether your direct report is clear on expectations, goals and priorities. It could be worth going back to first principles and discussing what else is important in their role (e.g. developing their direct reports). 

You might also reflect on whether you keep them in the loop so they know what’s important for you. Weekly meetings where you (jointly) clarify priorities may be useful. 

Assuming you have more than one direct report, and that you meet with this group from time to time, look at how you build connection and trust with them – creating a place where they can share challenges, reflect on learning (from failure as well as success), and discuss how they are working with their own reports, etc. 

Each person’s real-life challenges can be a case study for the group to discuss. This encourages a growth-mindset and will help her, and her peers, reflect on what it means to be a leader. Share a resource on leadership (the book recommended below, maybe?) and discuss the ideas.

You will probably also need to share feedback to encourage behavioural change. The success of this feedback will be dependent on three main factors: 

1. Your relationship with the person – is there trust between you?  
2. Their self-esteem – are they open to feedback and resilient?  
3. Your skill in sharing feedback – ensuring feedback is balanced, using the right language, etc. 

Building trust may allow you to find out what is driving her behaviour (e.g. perfectionism, anxiety, fear of failure, habit) which may open a deeper conversation.

The BOFF model provides a useful framework for giving both positive and developmental feedback: 

• Behaviour: what have you observed? (heard, seen, experienced). This helps you describe rather than judge.
• Outcome: the impact of the behaviour
• Feelings: what you are happy about (or concerned about).
• Future: Next steps (for you, for them).

It will be useful to approach the feedback with her, not from the point of ‘what’s not working’, but placing it in the context both of her career aspirations as well as developing her team. 

Her development, her team’s development, her work-life balance, etc., should be standing items in your one-on-ones – and this will help you role model the type of behaviour you want from her.