Parents and other family members are a big influence in a child’s life and these relationships play a key role in the development of a young person’s wellbeing.   Promoting wellbeing practices early in life can help lay the foundations for good wellbeing in the future. It helps instil confidence, independence and can help a young person develop the resilience they need to cope with everything life may throw at them as an adult. Communication To nurture good wellbeing at home, effective communication is crucial. Communication skills are fundamental, foundational and are vital to our wellbeing and mental health. Opening up and encouraging a positive two-way channel of communication with a child is important. Good communication involves listening and talking in ways that make children feel valued and heard. Furthermore, it helps them develop skills for communicating with others. Create a safe space where they feel they can open up.  If you have a busy schedule, make sure to allocate some time every day to simply sit and listen to your child. Ask open-ended questions about how they are feeling at that moment, or how they felt during the day. It is important to make sure your children know their feelings are valid. Ask what you can do to help, or offer solutions on how you can work through a problem together. Share with them how you’re feeling. This can help children, especially younger ones, understand that talking about feelings is healthy and can help children articulate how they are feeling too. Children thrive with words of encouragement or praise and helps them feel confident and happy. Acknowledge and praise behaviour when it’s appropriate. It might be words of praise after an open and honest conversation, or if they have done a chore you have asked them to do. With teenagers or older children, it can be difficult to get them to open up so it is important to be mindful of the tone and language we use. Judgement or criticising will quickly shut down the conversation and possibly lead to arguments. Routine There are several mental health benefits to developing a routine and it's an important part of promoting good wellbeing at home. Research has shown that children who engage in daily rituals tend to have better social-emotional health. Routines give children a sense of security, comfort, and control over their environment. It helps build healthy habits and brings consistency to a child’s life. A simple daily routine also provides a basis for children to learn essential skills such as hygiene, time management and control. Good routines also help the adults in the household to feel organised, reduces stress and eliminates power struggles in the home. A good routine is one that suits the family but for it to work it needs to be well planned, regular and predictable. However, it is important to leave room for flexibility and take a break for the norm every now and then. A routine shouldn’t be too rigid, perhaps it’s a slightly later bedtime during holidays or letting chores slide on a certain day. Healthy body and mind Regular activity helps children develop in a range of ways. Not only does it improve their physical health but also improves their mental health too.   Encouraging children and young people to build physical and mental activity into their daily routine is important for brain development and essential cognitive functions. It improves motor skills, problem-solving, supports emotional regulation and is an integral part in maintaining daily rhythms such as sleep. In younger children it is important to explain the benefits of being physically and mentally active and why it is such an important aspect of life. Children and young people (aged 2-18 years) should be active for at least one hour every day. Going for a daily family walk can promote bonding within the family while participation in group sports can foster good relationships and bolster their sense of belonging. It is important to lead by example too, research shows children are 5 times more likely to be active if their parents are. Mind activities can support children to have an awareness of their own thoughts and learn how to develop a positive mindset. These kinds of activities provide you and your children with the opportunity to check in on their mind regularly. Simple activities like story time, colouring, observing surroundings or nature are great ways to help calm the mind. Other wellbeing activities such as a thought jar, worry chart or mantra cards can give children the opportunity to find healthy ways to deal with their feelings and emotions. There is a plethora of online resources that provide free wellbeing activity packs, charts, and templates that be easily printed out to get you both started on your journey to good wellbeing. CA Support is here to support our students, members, and their families. Contact the CA Support team on mobile: (353) 86 024 3294 or email: casupport@charteredaccountants.ie.

Maternal Mental Health Week This week is Maternal Mental Health Week.  According to research, one in ten mums will develop a mental health illness during pregnancy and beyond.  Although starting a family is one of the most exciting things you may ever do, it can be challenging too, and bring lots of changes – even before your baby is born. From the time you find out a baby is on the way right through to the birth and the years that follow, you’re likely to experience a wide range of emotions – from joy, happiness and love right through to anxiety, self-doubt and frustration. In fact, it’s safe to say your life will never be exactly the same again. If you’re having your first baby, you may find it difficult to adjust, as you’ll be learning lots of new things as you go along. Indeed, according to one survey by baby products manufacturer Munchkin, it takes almost five months for new mothers to adapt to their new lifestyle after the birth of their baby, with many admitting they were overwhelmed by the prospect of becoming a parent. Learning to stay emotionally healthy at this time will help you to form a good and strong bond with your baby. So here are a few of the challenges you may encounter – and a few suggestions on how to cope with them. Sleep disruption  Lack of sleep is common during the first weeks and even months of being a new parent. Plus with the endless round of feedings, nappy changes and washing baby clothes, it’s no wonder many new parents claim they’re permanently exhausted. During the night, think about taking turns in feeding your baby (if your baby is breast fed, fathers can bottle feed using expressed milk). Having some quiet alone-time with their baby at night can give fathers another opportunity to build a strong bond with their baby.  Also try to catch up on your sleep whenever your baby is asleep, which may mean being more relaxed about things like cooking and doing chores around the house. Most importantly, remind yourselves that this period of sleep disruption won’t last forever, and that you’ll probably settle into a routine when your baby is around six to eight weeks old. Isolation  If you had a hospital birth, you may feel isolated and anxious when you first take your new baby home. Suddenly you’re both on your own with no one to help or give you advice, which can be daunting to say the least. But if you have friends and family nearby, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Many may choose to initially stay away because they think you need to have time on your own, but you’d be surprised at how happy most people would be to give you a hand. Also try to get out and about as much as possible with your baby, as being stuck in the house can make you feel even more isolated. The change of scenery will boost your mood, and your baby will feel better for getting out into the fresh air too. If you made friends with other parents-to-be at antenatal classes, why not arrange to get together with some of them? You may well find they’re having exactly the same experiences as you are, and talking about your feelings with others who know what you’re going through can make you realise you’re far from alone. Relationship problems  Many new parents feel there’s little time for their relationship as a couple when a new baby comes along. Studies suggest many parents feel less happy in their relationship after having a baby, and many fathers may feel left out, which can make them feel jealous of their partner’s closeness with the baby. Make sure you’re both involved with caring for your new baby – new dads need to build their confidence and their relationship with their child as well as new mums. Talk to each other about the way you feel, and let your partner know if you’re struggling to cope. Also start planning to do some of the things you did together before you had your baby, so you can enjoy time doing things as a couple, not just as parents. Negative feelings  A baby can turn your life upside down, so don’t be surprised if you have negative feelings from time to time, especially when everything seems more daunting than usual. These feelings are perfectly normal, so don’t be afraid to talk to someone about them. Also try to remember that it’s fine for mums and dads not to fall in love with their baby immediately. Forming a strong relationship with your baby can take a while, especially for mothers who had a long or difficult delivery. And having negative feelings towards your baby doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. If your partner is affected by negative feelings towards your baby, it’s more important than ever to reassure them that their emotions are normal, and that they will pass in time. Meanwhile, if a new mum shows a continuing lack of interest in her baby, it could be a sign of postnatal depression. If there’s a possibility you or your partner is affected by postnatal depression, it’s very important to speak to your GP about it and get treatment.  This article was kindly provided by CABA.

Many professionals are beginning to feel overwhelmed by homeschooling while working full-time. Paul Kelly has five helpful tips that should help relieve the pressure of being both parent and worker. Parents of the class of 2021 are being asked to shoulder an extensive load, as they fulfil their professional responsibilities alongside the mammoth task of homeschooling their children in preparation for the leaving cert in a format of which remains to be seen. With work deadlines looming and studies to be completed, how can parents manage it all? Control the controllable  Map out the week ahead and limit the decisions to be made. Meals can be planned, and dedicated work/study times set out – this is particularly relevant if your internet is problematic, or you are sharing a workspace.  Agree the family’s collective priorities for the coming week, whether it is a work presentation or an assignment deadline. Communication is key – knowing what everyone is focusing on will help you work as a team to get everything over the line, and it will help you to pre-empt or address any concerns your child may have.   Set joint longer-term goals Are you working towards a specific goal at work? Share it with your family and ensure they understand how it will benefit them. Similarly, for your leaving cert child, their chosen college course is not a solo goal, it is now a shared goal for the family. Maintain levels of motivation by starting a bucket list of things you’ll do and places you’ll go when the leaving cert exams are over and restrictions lift.   Practice discipline Try to keep as much normal structure to your days as you can. Set your alarm for a consistent time with everyone up and dressed, ready to start the working day at 9am. Keep tidy, dedicated workspaces and stick to normal break times. Outline your working times, and ensure you actually work while you are at work. This will help you to switch off from work when you are back in parent-mode.  Reset and refresh Make sure everyone switches off and look for ways of breaking up the mundane. It can be hard with teenagers who are missing social outlets, but a family takeaway or movie on a Saturday night gives everyone something to look forward to. Make sure you look after your own headspace by limiting time spent reading the news. Instead, try to get out for a walk in the fresh air once a day and encourage your children to do the same.     Seek out support Whether it’s asking for support in work or getting your child some extra assistance with their studies, if things are becoming too much, look for ways of getting help, within the confines of the restrictions. These are unprecedented times, try to understand your own limits and be kind, both to yourself as well as your children. This, too, shall pass.   Paul Kelly is the Director of Teaching at Homeschool.ie which provides an online grinds service for primary and secondary school students.

As the new school year approaches, anxiety is growing, and parents are conflicted. While we all accept the need for a return to school or college, it does mean that we must trust the plans and safeguards in place will work. Most children and teens are looking forward to returning to the classroom, however, the classroom will be very different, so as parents it is important to speak to your son/daughter before the term starts and ensure they are equipped and ready to adapt to the new ‘norm’ in school. You can support your child/teen through this transition back to school life. Here we have some top tips to guide these conversations: Ask how do they feel about going back to school? Listen carefully to the answer they may say what they think you want to hear. It is likely they will have mixed emotions, while they are eager to get back to the classroom, they have been safe at home with you or a trusted person for a long time now. Let them know that these feelings are ok and that everyone will most probably be feeling something similar. Set the scene. Give them as much information as possible. Most schools have been in contact with parents regarding the plans for re-opening and advised what is expected. The best thing you can do is make sure your son/daughter is informed, even if they are very young. Younger children can be assisted if they can see what is planned, so source photos or draw with them. Reassurance is key. Children are resilient, but they will need lots of re-assurance that returning to school is in their best interest. Their safety is a priority for their teachers, but they need to be aware of their own safety too. Let them know and understand how to stay safe in school e.g. washing their hands, not touching their face, listening to the teacher, and following the new rules. Keep the pressure off. Most children can adapt easily, but it will be a tricky time as a new routine needs to be established at home and in school, so be kind to yourself and don’t expect it all to happen overnight. Offer support, reassurance, and comfort, but don’t add any additional pressure, everyone will adapt at their own pace. Look forward. Much has changed since March and some of the changes in school will not be welcome. It is important to try and remain positive. This is not permanent and will end and we will be able to look forward and our feelings will change. Seek support. The transition may be more challenging to some children and they could find it difficult to adapt. If this happens speak to the school, they will be happy to help, remember they are doing everything they can so support students. If the difficulties persist and anxiety is becoming an issue seek support from your GP. Talk openly to teenagers they may be nervous about returning to school too, a lot has changed, including them and they could have worries you may not have considered. Teenagers still look to their parents for re-assurance and so it will be important that parents demonstrate confidence with the planed return to school. They learn essential social skills and how to interact with others, so encouragement is critical. You could also view handling the uncertainty and change   which was held by our Cork District Society recently. Teachers and school staff fully appreciate the apprehension and anxiety and want this transition back to school to work for everyone. They want to support students, ensure they are comfortable in school, and can continue to learn and move forward. By working together this can be achieved, with everyone playing their part.

By Moira Dunne Due to the COVID-19 restrictions, many people are still working from home over the summer months. Staying focused can be difficult, as home working presents many distractions. In last month’s article, I gave some tips for managing distractions at home. The summer introduces a new set of distractions, however, such as good weather and school holidays. In this article, I will outline some strategies to help maintain motivation and productivity in the months ahead. The challenge is to stay focused so you can get your work done. There are two things you can do: manage yourself and manage others. Manage yourself Managing yourself means understanding what impacts on your productivity while placing a high value on your time. Think of your workday as a simple equation: you have X amount of work to do in Y amount of time. Be clear about the work you should prioritise each week and each day. Then, protect your time for those priorities by negotiating when asked to do additional pieces of work and saying no to non-essential activities. This can be hard to do, but it is essential to stay on track. If you find that summer weather affects your productivity, turn this distraction into a motivator. By setting a goal to finish on time, you will be more inclined to stay on track during the day. You will procrastinate less and not be as distracted by time-wasting activities. Instead, you will be focused on the prize of getting out into that good weather. Be strategic and adjust your plan if you know the forecast is good, for example, starting earlier than usual so you can get through all your work to finish early. Manage others Working at home while minding children is hard. Now that the school term is finished, your homework routine is probably gone. Is it time for a new plan? Involve your kids in coming up with ideas and create a summer routine together. Design the plan to incorporate your work hours. One approach is to work in time blocks to take advantage of the quiet times in your house. To optimise your productivity, plan to work on your priority tasks during these high-focus time blocks. Save your low-level, administrative tasks for periods when there will be more noise and distraction. Here is a sample schedule that may help you plan your alternative workday: 6am to 8am: high-focus work. 8am to 8:30am: breakfast with the kids. 8:30am to 10am: kids’ activities while you do low-focus tasks like email responses or attend an online meeting. 10am to 12pm: outdoor activity with the kids. 12 noon to 2pm: high-focus work while your kids have some downtime and a lunch picnic. 2pm to 3pm: time away from work for an activity with the kids. 3pm to 5pm: low-focus tasks like email responses or online meetings. If necessary, do a short time block later to complete some administrative tasks. Design a plan that suits your parenting and working responsibilities. Perhaps you can avail of a summer camp or childminding by a relative to increase your options and flexibility. Be productive To be productive, you must be pragmatic about your circumstances and do what you can to optimise your working time. By using a well-planned routine, you can give yourself a higher chance of managing your time and productivity. Have a great summer! Moira Dunne is a productivity consultant and Founder and Director at BeProductive.ie.

Amid COVID19 crisis, parents find themselves in unusual circumstances, working remotely, home-schooling children, and juggling many more balls in the air than normal.  It is a time when parents of children of all ages need extra advice and guidance.  Fellow member, Sheelagh O’Grady, having retrained as a Parent and Relationship Mentor in UCC now operates a joint private practice with her colleague Aoife Ryan.  Since the crisis unfolded, they have seen a significant increase in the number of parents who are feeling stressed and worried and are now seeking help and support. In response to this, they have launched a free telephone support service for parents. As a member of the Chartered Accountant community, she would like to offer this free service to members, as a source of support and compassion in these challenging times.     Available 10am-11am and 7pm-8pm Monday-Friday. Simply text Aoife or Sheelagh, stating whether you would like a morning or evening appointment. Sheelagh O’Grady 089 4081313, Aoife Ryan 089 2349339. In the meantime, see below some tips for keeping the kids content while working from home Establish a routine. Children, young and old, thrive on routine.  It gives their day a structure and helps keep boundaries in check.  Let young kids co-create a wall chart that details the daily schedules for all the family. This will help maintain quiet times, family mealtimes, and rest times. It might take a day or two to establish these new routines, but it will be well worth the effort. Keeping them occupied. Small children like to feel useful so giving them simple tasks to carry out will keep them happy.  Empty out a kitchen or bedroom drawer and ask them to “sort” the contents out. Setting up treasure hunts in the garden or the local green spaces can help with fitting in exercise and fresh air into the day while using up all their excess energy. Making a den with old sheets and chairs can create a new magical space for them to play. They can hide out here with their toys and their imagination for hours. There are lots of great websites to help with keeping toddlers and kids of all ages educated and occupied: GoNoodle designed to get kids exercising at home. A good way to explain the virus and the importance of hand washing is to show them this video clip or better still re-create it as an experiment and let them try it out. Marvel artist from Cork, Will Sliney, who has drawn Spider-Man and now works on Star Wars comics set up a new challenge each day on his YouTube channel at 2.00pm WeWilldraw. There are great learning platforms online and one of the biggest is Kahoot which is free to use and gives access to millions of free learning games for the entire family Learning a new skill or language on Youtube is a great way to spend an hour a day for all ages. Lots of museums now offer online tours – what a great way to while away some time while broadening their education. See this one that covers twelve world class museum visits. Is your local library closed? No problem, here’s a great elibrary resource which will provide hours of reading and entertainment to kids of all ages. Be sure to check out the full list of resources at the end of the article.  Connectivity Connecting with grandparents and other family members, as well as friends, using online technology has never been more important.  Setting up regular “Skype” or “Facetime” chats will benefit all of us and ensure we reduce the feelings of isolation and loneliness communities are facing.  Perhaps grandparents can “Skype” at bedtimes and read goodnight stories each night?  Getting groups of young children to connect with their best friends and peers regularly will help maintain the fun elements of each day and has never been easier to set up.   Family time Creating an hour or two per day for family activities will be a necessary part of any new routine.  Here are some easy ways to have together as a family: Preparing the family meal – getting everyone involved from the choosing of the meal/recipe, chopping the veg, laying the table, and clearing away. Capitalise on the extra time at home to make meal-times count.  Movie night – have regular movie nights and allow each member of the family to pick their favourite.  Board games – now is the time to dust off the Monopoly and Pictionary. Kids love this time with their parents when everyone comes together, and all devices are turned off and put away. The first few days of this schedule may seem a little awkward as we all get used to our new “normal”, but children are so adaptable and will follow our lead.  Before long, when they see us relax into the new schedule, they will too. This structure of activities and routines will help keep us all productive and appropriately challenged. We may even find we all benefit considerably from this extra time together. Here at CA Support we are here to support our members and students.  Feel free to get in touch if you need support during this time. We can be contacted by email or call us on (353) 86 024 3294.