For Jaimie Dower, having a supportive work environment has played a critical role in helping her to navigate her gender transition positively and proactively
When Jaimie Dower made the decision to transition in May 2022, she knew how important it would be to take a proactive approach to communicating her experience, not just in her personal life but also at work to her colleagues and clients at EY Ireland.
For Dower, who is an Executive Director in EY’s Audit Quality Programme, her transition marked a watershed moment in her life. She was, she says, finally ready to “stand up in front of the world and say, ‘this is me’.”
“This is something that has been with me my whole life and something I had up until that point struggled with and hid,” Dower explains.
“There was always a disconnect – the person I knew I was inside and the person I was on the outside were not the same.
“It impacted my life in so many ways because there was always this noise in my head – this static – and the way I dealt with it for many years was to mentally compartmentalise and throw myself into things and say to that noise, ‘go away; I’ll deal with you another time.’”
For Dower, who lives in Waterford and works at EY’s southeastern hub in the city centre, it was the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic in early 2020 that proved the catalyst for her transition.
Working long hours at home and surrounded by the uncertainty that had engulfed the world as the pandemic took hold, she found she was no longer able to rely on life-long coping strategies.
“I think this will resonate with a lot of people for their own reasons, but that first COVID lockdown in March 2020 really brought things to a head for me,” she says.
“Out of everyone in our family, I was the one working alone from home the most. I had a lot of time to myself and, suddenly, I couldn’t manage those boxes I’d compartmentalised everything into anymore.
“Looking at what was happening in the world around me at that time, there was also this really strong sense of, ‘life’s too short.’
“It wasn’t just that I didn’t want to hide who I was anymore; I wanted to celebrate it. I wanted to stand up in front of the world and say, ‘this is who I am.’ That really came home to me during COVID.”
First steps and early conversations
Dower’s first step was to seek professional help. Working with a therapist helped her to ‘clarify’ her thoughts and begin to plan the practicalities of managing her transition.
“Talking to someone at that stage was very important – to have that help and support in coming out to myself, really, and the sheer relief of being able to say it out loud. It was powerful,” she says.
By mid-2023, having begun hormone treatment, she was ready to start thinking about how to communicate her transition at work.
“The hormone treatment changed my life. I can only describe it as coming into full focus for the first time. The dissonance I had felt all my life faded away. Now, I had to think about how to start telling people about my transition – to put a plan in place I was comfortable with.”
Initially, Dower decided to get involved in Unity, EY’s global LGBTQ+ network.
“I took things slowly at first, getting involved in things like helping to organise Pride events. I got to know colleagues in the network and had one or two small conversations – really just to begin to gather my own thoughts on how to approach this.”
By late 2023, Dower was ready to take more formal steps, and she reached out to EY’s HR team for support.
“Their support was incredible. I was able to work directly with a colleague on the HR team I knew I could trust to work out a plan. That trust was immense for me.
“We talked about when I would start speaking to people, who I needed to speak to and when, and about what I wanted to say.”
Intentional communication
Dower began communicating with her colleagues in mid-February 2024 in advance of presenting at work as her authentic self.
“There was a lot of anxiety for me initially around those conversations. Having worked at EY for 30 years, I did feel a lot of pressure because I have long-standing relationships with colleagues within the firm and clients externally and they trust me.
“I had faith that there would be a positive response, but in the back of your mind, there is always the worry that someone might not react well.
“I will never forget that first call we set up for 2pm on a Friday afternoon with all the Assurance Partners across EY in Ireland – that was our starting point.
“I work with EY people all around the country, but primarily in our Dublin office, and I needed to communicate to everyone.
“So, once I had that call with our Assurance Partners, I set up another group call with everyone on my team and then I sat down face to face with everyone in our Waterford office.”
Although intense and, at times, overwhelming, the process also proved to be “empowering” for Dower who welcomed the positive feedback and support offered by colleagues.
“It was the support that came afterwards that really meant so much to me – people reaching out to say, ‘I’m delighted you were able to come to me and tell me this. I am with you – I support you.’
“Just knowing I could come to work as myself and it would be okay was incredible, because not everyone has that experience. Not everyone has that support.”
While not easy, the process held great value for Dower, who felt empowered by being able to work proactively with her colleagues at EY to communicate her transition.
“Every one of those conversations was difficult, no matter how many times I did it.
Effectively, it was just me having to strip away all my defences to tell my story in different ways to different people depending on the nature of our working relationship and how well we knew each other.”
“In some ways, it is a never-ending journey, but all I am fundamentally saying is, ‘I am still me, but I am the authentic me – a better version of me’.”
Meaningful support and guidance
In supporting employees at work as they transition, Dower sees enormous value in collaborative diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives, such as EY’s Unity network, which can help to foster a sense of community and act as a crucial conduit for support and communication.
“Through my involvement with Unity, I had the privilege of being able to play a role in revising EY’s Transgender Identity, Expression and Transition Guidelines and I was also able to take part in a Transgender 101 Webcast for staff across the organisation.”
As Dower sees it, such initiatives are vital in helping to foster a supportive environment for transgender employees and providing guidance and resources for the wider workforce.
“From the employer’s perspective, education is so important. I’m not in a position myself to go around every day educating every person I meet. That’s where things like guidelines and webcasts can have real value. Even just a little bit of education can go a long way.”
In particular, Dower sees value in establishing clear guidelines that are equally applicable to all and give everyone a simple and transparent baseline to work from.
“I’ve had a sense sometimes that some colleagues may be a little nervous. It’s not that they are not supportive, it’s maybe that they are afraid that they might say the wrong thing or use the wrong terminology, and inadvertently cause offense or upset – and that is the last thing I want,” she says.
EY’s Transgender Identity, Expression and Transition Guidelines include sections on gender identity and expression and the correct or inaccurate use of terms relating to gender expression, including pronouns.
Guidance is also offered to managers on how to support transitioning employees and to individual employees who are transitioning.
“I am very fortunate that EY as a firm, as an employer, has been so willing to work with and support me. When I reached out, the response wasn’t, ‘this is what we need from you,’ it was, ‘what do you need from us?’
“Now, I really want to communicate how important this is to the wider world, because I feel a responsibility to others who are transitioning and may not have the same support I have at work,” Dower says.
“Because I have been with EY for 30 years, I have the privilege of a longstanding presence in the organisation and all the trust that comes with relationships built over that time.
“Right from the outset I’ve thought, ‘if I can get this right, it might make it easier for someone who is younger and newer in the door who is going through the same thing.’
“Representation matters; visibility matters. Ultimately, I want to do what I can to help make this process easier for others in the future.”
Interview by Elaine O’Regan
Supporting employees transitioning at work
For any person undergoing gender transition, the support of their employer, managers and colleagues will be crucial, and open, honest communication will play an important role in building trust and supporting a positive experience.
“At EY, we are committed to supporting individuals as they go through gender transition and working closely with them to provide personalised support, aid in establishing an action plan and setting expectations,” says Derarca Dennis, EY Ireland’s Assurance Partner and Sustainability Services Lead.
“We value diversity and inclusion and the creation of a safe workplace in which everyone has the best opportunity to reach their full potential.”
Based on EY Ireland’s own Transgender Identity, Expression and Transition Guidelines, Dennis shares seven key ‘best practice’ focus areas for all employers and managers seeking to support their own employees undergoing gender transition:
Develop a transition plan
When an individual approaches you with their intention to transition, it is imperative that you are supportive, open-minded and honest. Be prepared to discuss their aims and expectations, and what they intend your role to be in the transition. Make sure to consider stakeholders, colleagues, policies and procedures existing in the workplace. Ask your HR team for guidance and support as needed.
Prioritise effective communication
Clear, open and honest communication from managers, employees and the transitioning individual is essential. Communication will be different in all transitioning plans and dialogue can help alleviate any potential difficulties or issues. Hosting information and awareness sessions for team members and other stakeholders should be considered when developing this plan. Other fundamental communication areas to consider include what the transitioning individual is comfortable and willing to share.
Practise sensitivity and respect
Be prepared to treat any employee who is transitioning with respect and an open-minded attitude. Be ready to ask questions, listen and understand their needs and concerns. All employees deserve to be treated with respect and sensitivity when related to their personal lives.
Use pronouns correctly
Using the correct pronouns (he/she/they/ze etc) is extremely important. Simply ask the individual which pronoun they would like people to use and then ensure that everyone knows this. It may seem like a small thing, but it is incredibly important to get right as it demonstrates validation of the individual’s authentic self, which will go a long way towards helping them know they are fully accepted in their expression of their gender identity.
Educate and raise awareness
While everyone is expected to behave in accordance with policies, there should also be an opportunity for education and questions to be asked related to the transition process. It may be useful to host information sessions and forums to address concerns and educate employees who work in the team.
Guide on client conversations
Should the individual be client-facing, they should be offered support (if required) in facilitating a conversation with any clients they work with. It is important to reinforce that their technical abilities will not have changed as a result of their expression of their gender identity and clients should be made to understand that all team members working with them must be treated with the same support and respect.
Respect confidentiality and privacy
You should always maintain an appropriate level of confidentiality and privacy in relation to employee matters. Information should only be disclosed to those who need to know (such as HR, for example), those involved in the process, or those who have the consent of the transitioning employee.
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