The term emotional intelligence is something we hear a lot of these days and has become a buzzword of sorts in the wellness space. However, it is a critical skill and its importance on our wellbeing, work performance and interpersonal relationships shouldn't be underestimated.
Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to identify and regulate one's emotions and understand the emotions of others.
Here, we look at emotional intelligence, its impacts, and how to develop and improve it.
Characteristics of emotional intelligence
Essentially, emotional intelligence is being aware of our emotions, how they drive behaviour and impact ourselves and others (negatively and positively). Some experts even believe that it is more important in determining life success than IQ.
There are certain traits and key signs associated with emotional intelligence. Some include:
- An ability to identify and describe how you and other people are feeling
- Self-confidence and acceptance
- Being able to accept and let go of mistakes and move on quickly
- Acceptance and embracing of change
- Feelings of empathy and concern for others
- Being sensitive and astute to others’ feelings and emotions
- Being able to manage emotions in difficult situations or within conflict
The 5 elements of emotional intelligence
According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, who popularised the concept, there are five components to emotional intelligence.
- Self-awareness
Self-awareness is considered the core foundation of emotional intelligence. Strong self-awareness is recognising and understanding your emotions, knowing why you are feeling a certain way and acknowledging their impact on you and others. It is also about knowing your strengths and weaknesses, what your values are and having a strong moral compass.
Self-awareness is a key skill in managing our wellbeing too, it helps with decision-making and helps you instinctively make the right choices for you. Conversely, it is suggested those with lower EI exhibit uncontrolled and misunderstood emotions which can heighten their susceptibility to a host of mental health concerns such as stress, anxiety, and depression.
- Self-regulation
Once you have an awareness over your emotions, the next step is being able to manage and regulate your emotions – particularly the negative ones. This is not to be misconstrued as bottling up or hiding your true feelings. Self-regulation is about expressing yourself appropriately.
It is one’s ability not to act impulsively or hastily based on emotions, steady self-regulation allows us to reduce how intense our emotions and reactions are.
- Motivation
The next element is the ability to motivate, not only yourself but others too. Motivation is the drive to improve ourselves, set standards and expectations for ourselves and our desire to achieve. This type of motivation goes beyond external rewards though, it is based on a desire to fulfill inner needs and goals.
In a work setting, those who are highly motivated tend to be action-oriented, always looking for ways to do things betters, are very committed, and like to take the initiative.
- Empathy
Being empathetic is another key foundation of good emotional intelligence. An important interpersonal skill, empathy is having an understanding of others’ thoughts, feelings and emotions and respecting their point of view.
Empathy for others can help foster stronger relationships and is especially vital in the workplace as it is integral to understanding workplace dynamics, influences and how different situations can be interpreted. It can also guide the interactions we have with different people we encounter daily.
- Social Skills
The final element in the emotional intelligence concept is social skills, which is the ability to properly manage others’ emotions, and the ability to connect, interact, influence and work with a range of people effectively.
Having strong social skills allows people to build strong and meaningful relationships. In work settings, people can benefit from effective social skills as it allows us to develop strong rapport and trust. In emotional intelligence, social skills include active listening, verbal communication skill, non-verbal communication skills, leadership and persuasiveness.
Take a look at our Communicating with impact webinar to learn more about building these key communication skills.
Developing our emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence infiltrates all aspects of our lives and is essential for understanding ourselves as well as how successful we are in navigating our social world. Research has found being emotionally intelligent is associated with professional success, financial security, fulfilling and meaningful relationships, increased life satisfaction as well as better overall physical and mental health.
While some tend to be more naturally adept, the good news is that these skills can be learned, developed, and strengthen over time. Here are some ways you can strengthen your emotional intelligence.
Know yourself – Practice and develop your own self-awareness by becoming more in tune with your emotions and your emotional reactions and responses. Knowing what and how you are feeling can help you identify and process your emotions and strengthen your ability to communicate them in a healthy way. To strengthen your awareness, make a note of when you are experiencing strong feelings, what made you feel that way, and if there were any adverse reactions to those feelings.
Communicate and listen – Strong communication skills are essential for developing emotional intelligence and crucial for building strong relationships. Work on communicating openly and be willing to share your own feelings. People communicate verbally and non-verbally, so it is helpful to actively listen and observe reactions. Active listening involves listening with all senses and paying full attention to the speaker. To develop this skill try nodding along, asking questions or repeating points they have made to show you are listening and understand what the speaker is saying.
Empathy – Be mindful of how others may be feeling. While you may not feel that way or have a differing stance in a situation, being empathic means you can imagine yourself in someone else’s position and can acknowledge how and why they may be feeling a certain way. To build empathy, take the other person’s feelings into consideration in a way that is respectful and comforting to the other person.
The Thrive Wellbeing Hub provides free practical and emotional support to members, students and family members. We offer a confidential space for you to talk, whether you need a listening ear, wellbeing advice or professional counselling, we are here for you.
You can contact the thrive wellbeing team by email at: thrive@charteredaccountants.ie or by phone: (+353) 86 0243294
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