Edel Walsh explains how to transform negative self-talk into empowering, positive prompts to help you on your path to qualification
Do you find your internal self-talk is overly negative?
Now, ask yourself a question: would you speak to a friend or a family member so negatively?
The answer is nearly always no. If you wouldn’t speak to others so negatively, then why is it OK to talk to yourself like this?
It’s time we turn negative self-talk into positive prompts.
Mindset
Mindset is a powerful belief you have about yourself.
There are two types of mindsets: the fixed mindset and the growth mindset.
In a fixed mindset you believe you are good at something or you are bad at something. There is no in-between. You believe there is no room to grow or to get better at things.
In a growth mindset, on the other hand, you believe your skills and intelligence can be improved with intentional practice and effort.
Fixed mindset
When we are studying, we sometimes feel the pull of the fixed mindset. We fall into thinking traps, and negative self-talk takes over.
For example, if you feel out of control about passing your exams, you might hear yourself say, “I never get anything right. I am never going to be able to pass these exams.”
When you believe you don’t have the confidence to ask for help with your studies, you might hear yourself say, “I am worried about what other people will think if I ask for help."
If you think you don’t have the competence or the intelligence to pass your exams, you might hear yourself say, “My colleagues are better than me”, “I am not good enough”, or “I fail more than I succeed."
The human brain is a sophisticated organ. However, if you keep telling your brain you can’t do something, it has no option but to believe you. Our brains cannot distinguish between perception and reality.
Unfortunately, when you tell yourself you can’t do something, this often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Growth mindset and positive prompts
The opposite is also true. The growth mindset starts in the brain. The key is to catch the negative thinking traps and re-frame these thoughts into positive thinking prompts.
Positive thinking prompts are positive messages or self-talk that help you stay motivated and inspired.
Positive prompts help you to take progressive action by seeing things from a different perspective. They also serve as positive reminders to motivate yourself.
By changing how you think and re-framing your self-talk, you can move from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.
Here are some positive prompts:
- “This topic is difficult for me, but I know when I study effectively, I will improve.”
- “Sometimes, the way I study does not give me the results I want. I can change my study strategy to get better results.”
- “Failure is not the end of the world. I can learn a lesson to improve in the future.”
These positive prompts are about appreciating that challenges occur and are stepping-stones towards something better.
Mistakes are OK
When we make mistakes in our studies, the volume of negative self-talk can get louder.
For example: “If I was any good, I wouldn’t keep making mistakes.”
What we need to remember is that learning is messy and filled with mistakes and setbacks. Without mistakes, there would be no learning.
The important thing is what you learn from making the mistake.
Tone down the negative self-talk and re-frame it into a positive prompt, such as “Mistakes are valuable learning opportunities.”
Not knowing vs not knowing YET
The word 'yet' is magical. This little three-letter word packs a big punch.
The use of 'yet' is particularly useful when encouraging learning. Let’s consider these two statements:
- I don’t understand double-entry bookkeeping; vs
- I don’t understand double-entry bookkeeping yet!
The difference in meaning between the two statements is significant.
The first statement suggests you have no understanding of double-entry book-keeping. While the second statement says the same thing, the word “yet” implies that you will get there. You may not understand double-entry book-keeping at this moment, but you will understand it at some point soon.
A simple way to start changing to a growth mindset is by using the word 'yet'. Here are some more examples:
- I can’t do this…yet.
- I don’t know…yet.
- It doesn’t make sense…. yet.
- I am not good at this…yet.
- I don’t get this…yet.
Catching negative thoughts and turning them into positive prompts takes time and effort but the results will have an overall positive impact on your mental and emotional well-being.
Edel Walsh is a student and exam coach. Her website is www.edelwalsh.ie
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