August 2025
Bulldog and van
Time for a bit of ‘silly season’ frivolity.
Here’s a snapshot of some of the best stories making the news during our annual August news ‘famine’.
In first place: The BBC marked the 60th birthday of the Ford Transit – a workhorse that served a multitude of uses and trades from plumbers and electricians to rock bands and bank robbers. The world’s best-selling van that was once a bit of a bone-shaker is a much sleeker and more comfortable ‘animal.’
Close second: Coming in close behind the Transit is what has been billed the ‘World’s Ugliest Dog’. RTE brought this one to our attention. A hairless English-French bulldog mix called Petunia picked up the dubious title in California, earning its owner a cheque for $5,000. Apparently, Petunia is really lovable and, as a bonus, will appear on limited-edition root beer cans. Woof! Woof!
In third place: It could just as easily have been a very important politician, but, no, the National Library of Scotland ‘s 100th birthday was marked by a special edition centenary Beano comic. Instead of stuffed shirts doing the honours, we had Dennis, Gnasher and Minnie (and others) giving a novel twist to the landmark occasion. The Bash Street Kids were at their most mischievous. The first 500 visitors received a copy of what, in time, will become a priceless special edition.
Next: In fourth place we have calls for a Scotland-wide seagull summit, as reported by Sky News. According to Conservative Douglas Ross MSP, people could lose their lives over the growing problem of ‘nuisance gulls’. Dive-bombing gulls attracted to chips in the hands of incautious seaside visitors have been warned. A summit should do the trick.
Fifth: Back to Belfast. ‘Belfast Live’ entertained us with a story about a one-man grime buster. He goes by ‘Signsy’, wears a mask and goes about cleaning road signs, tackling graffiti, grime and slogans that cause division. Hats off to our superhero. Pity there aren’t more like him in the city.
In sixth position: If you’re a bit squeamish, skip to the next story. New giant stick insect species have scientists whooping with joy.
The BBC says it weighs 44 grams and is 40cm long. Acrophylla alta was discovered in a remote rainforest and is thought to be the heaviest every found in Australia.
It’s a perfect addition to deadly snakes, spiders and a host of other nightmarish specimens. I’m sure Sir David Attenborough can’t wait for a close encounter with the creature in the Wet Tropics mountainous region of the Far North Queensland. He’s welcome to it.
Seventh place: For years, we were told the goal should be 10,000 steps a day. Now, a welcome (to me!) new report says walking 7,000 steps can be enough to do the trick.
The much-respected Lancet Public Health reported that 7,000 was linked to a reduced risk of serious health issues including cancer, dementia and heart disease.
Apparently, the Janapese are to blame for the 10,000 steps notion way back in the run-up to the 1964 Tokyo Olympics, but it was lost in translation – advice taken out of context.
More than sixty years on, and we’re being told by researchers that even a daily tally of 4,000 steps is linked to better health.
Household chores such as gardening and vacuum cleaning count as part of the daily physical activity. On that basis, going to the fridge for beer replenishment must rank as positive activity. Maybe not.
Number eight: ‘Clint Dunwoody’, the barman from the BBC drama Hope Street is for pastures new. He’s being promoted to pub landlord in Coronation Street’s favourite watering hole, The Rovers Return, with his screen wife ‘Eva’ in October. He’ll play ‘Ben Driscoll’ and he’ll be joined by Pauline McLynn who, as ‘Maggie’, will take on the role of interfering mother. Coronation Street producer says the Driscolls do not arrive quietly on the famous street. Big drama is most definitely on the cards.
Nine: Book a table tout de suite in the lavish dining room at Stormont before prices are reviewed. The ‘Belfast Telegraph’ reported that catering in Parliament Buildings has been subsidised by more than £1.5 million since 2020. This comes after it was revealed that MLA expenses cost £1.9 million last year on top of staffing costs of £9 million. Whatever about staff and general expenses, restaurant owners outside the estate are asking why menus are subsidised.
And finally: It gets a little crazier by the day. The United States now wants to put a nuclear reactor on the Moon within ten years. Russia and China are working jointly on a similar mission. Not content to reignite ‘cold war’ standoffs on Earth, the super-powers seem intent on taking their belligerence to the Moon before conquering Mars.
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Bertie for President
Considerable attention has focused on who might be in the running for President and the keys to the Aras in the Phoenix Park.
From a Northern Ireland perspective, we’ve had names such as respected academic Professor Deirdre Heenan, former SDLP leader Colum Eastwood MP and First Minister Michelle O’Neill MLA.
The one name we haven’t heard very much about is a former Taoiseach and peace process architect, Bartholomew Patrick Ahern. Expect that to change very shortly.
My sources tell me some Bertie admirers are preparing to go public with ringing endorsements, urging him to stand for election in November. Bertie is controversial - remember the Mahon Tribunal - but well-liked by many Unionists. He and the late David Trimble got on exceptionally well during the heady days of ’98, and the years that followed, as they navigated treacherous political waters. When a portrait of David by renowned Belfast artist Colin Davidson was unveiled in 2022, Bertie was at the top table.
For Bertie, friendship and trust were the pillars of the relationship he and David enjoyed.
No-one in Northern Ireland has a say in this contest, but if they did there are quite a who would make the affable Bertie first choice for the €250,000 a-year post.
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Sonic hairdryer
It’s said it will do London-New York in under three hours. That’s more than half the present flying time and if it becomes a reality, it will transform trans-Atlantic travel.
China’s developing the supersonic jet given the catchy designation C949 – a far cry from the iconic Concorde.
The Chinese boffins enthusiastically developing the new jet say it will have a 50% increase in range over Concorde and reduce sonic boom to levels roughly equivalent to the sound of a hairdryer.
The C949 is the brainchild Chinese company Comac who say the aircraft will accommodate between 28 and 48 passengers in a business-style cabin. Other aircraft manufacturers are competing in the same space.
We won’t see it operating for quite some time. C949 is scheduled to enter service by 2049 to mark the 100th anniversary of the People’s Republic of China.
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Bumper-to-bumper
We complain when they don’t happen, and we complain when they do. There really is no pleasing us.
Case in point, the M3. It was gridlock the first weekend they closed off the key route for essential bridge-strengthening work.
Thousands didn’t get the memo and, so, were caught up in ghastly bumper-to-bumper tailbacks that tested patience to the limit. Twenty-minute journey times stretched to ninety and beyond. Meetings, dates and appointments were missed.
It prompted questions about the lack of proper and effective messaging and why the work to replace bridge bearings couldn’t have been carried out under powerful floodlights in the middle of the night.
In case you’re wondering, according to the helpful online Structural Engineer, a bridge bearing helps ‘transmit’ the load from the bridge deck to the piers and abutments.
The next big test of patience and endurance will be this coming weekend. Good luck and may the force be with you.
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Ka-ching
The Open at Royal Portrush was an outstanding success. Thousands flocked to the links course to watch the best compete for the Claret Jug. The value of the world-class event was put at £213 million. Golf fanatics the world over were glued to their screens and pushed global media value of the event up to £150 million.
In straight-forward business terms, The Open pulled in well over £60 million worth of business for hotels, restaurants and bars. Tourism bods were cock-a-hoop, and rightly so. The Royal and Ancient organisers loved how things went and are reportedly looking at bringing the flagship event back for a third time at some future date.
Last year, gold tourism generated £86 million for the local economy and that can only continue its upward trajectory thanks to the global exposure The Open received.
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Big fat zero
For a third successive year, toxic blue-green algae is back in Lough Neagh. And yet there are no concrete steps to deal with the threat. Signs warning people that they could experience skin rashes, eye irritation, vomiting, fever, diarrhoea and muscle wait are all well and good, but where’s the Action Plan to rid this natural resource of dangerous pollution levels. Eel fishing has been shut down and yet we’re told water taken from the Lough and treated is fit for human consumption.
If Executive Ministers are to be judged on this one issue, then they’d qualify for a big fat zero.
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Rock on!
You could only do this if you had more money than sense. Someone who doesn’t know what they are worth has forked out £3.2 million for the largest rock from Mars ever found on Earth.
It weighs in at 24.5kg and is 38.1 cm long. The meteorite was discovered in a remote region of Niger a couple years back and is 70% larger than the next biggest one found, according to Sotheby’s.
We don’t know who bought it or whether it will be held privately or put on display.
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In fashion
Lastly, it’s congratulations to Jonathan Anderson from Magherafelt who is the new creative director at Dior.
Jonathan has a richly deserved international reputation and becomes the first designer to head both women’s and men’s lines at the luxury French fashion house.
Jonathan is no stranger to accolades and high-profile awards. Bit like his da who knew a thing or two about patterns and stitches when he played rugby for Ulster and captained Ireland.
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