Maria McHugh shares how she set boundaries, shed the notion that she “can do it all”, and that achieving a successful career while prioritising family is possible with the right mindset and support
Growing up, I had a keen interest in business and enterprise. Because of this, I completed a BSc in Finance at University College Cork, and, after considering career options, I felt that becoming a Chartered Accountant was the best fit for me and a good start to my business career.
This, however, wasn’t without its challenges.
Coming back after a break
Like many women, I had to make a decision about having children and consider how my career would be impacted.
Between 2014 and 2021, my husband and I had three children, and during that time, we decided that I would be a full-time stay-at-home mum because of a lack of childcare availability.
This unplanned, seven-year break in my career had a much bigger impact on me mentally than I ever would have thought. I felt that I had lost my professional self. I didn’t realise how important that identity was to me.
I watched as my peers’ careers progressed and felt left behind.
After seven years at home, I started to consider what returning to work would look like; frankly, it was terrifying.
I suffered from post-natal depression after my second baby, and it left me with low confidence and self-belief. Thankfully, earlier in my career, I met Karin Lanigan in Member Services at Chartered Accountants Ireland, and I always remembered her openness and honesty.
Personal priorities
While I wanted my career back on track, it was also important that I continue to be available for my children. I lost my mum at 13 years old, so it has always been especially important to me to be at home for my children. I had to consider what type of professional role I wanted and how to balance my work and home life.
I felt passionate about helping start-ups, sole traders and being involved in local enterprises. Having completed the Chartered Accountants Ireland Diploma in Tax in 2018, opening my accountancy and tax practice seemed the best fit for me and the family.
I was excited by the prospect, but I was also incredibly overwhelmed, daunted, and the self-doubt and fear were crippling.
I had three small children, was moving from Dublin back to my native Dungarvan, and was now opening my own practice. It seemed insurmountable. Karin guided me in breaking the tasks into manageable steps and helped me see that this was achievable. Professional Standards and Practice Consulting were also very supportive, and I was delighted that so much support was offered by Chartered Accountants Ireland.
While on my journey back into the workplace, I was really heartened by all the supports that were available through the Institute, and I hope these only grow and extend to more women.
In some ways, I think women put themselves under too much pressure with the social narrative that “we can do it all”. I think we are our own worst critics, and we can each have an expectation for ourselves that we should be doing everything, and when we don’t, we think we are failing.
This perception is false and needs to change. It is OK to choose to stay at home with young children, and that decision should not feel detrimental to our career or be something we need to explain or justify.
For me, it is all about balance, and this is personal to every family. We are all just doing our best to have a career in whatever way possible to suit our family life.
Setting boundaries
Since I started my business, I have always had the mindset that I am going at my own pace.
The aim of having my own practice was that I could balance both my career and my family life but I recognised early on that working in my practice full time was just not going to work for my family. As a result, I learned how to say no. I created boundaries around my work schedule, especially during school holidays, and I don’t apologise
for it.
I sometimes think that women feel they need to be singularly career-orientated and driven to succeed to be taken seriously or that admitting the kids come first is a weakness. I don’t agree at all.
At the start of the summer, I announced on social media that I was taking a step back from work for the school summer holidays. The support from peers and clients was fantastic. People told me that my being upfront about the summer break was refreshing and inspired other parents to do the same.
It’s like anything – if you don’t see it being done, you don’t realise you can do it. This doesn’t mean that I am not career-driven or don’t have aspirations for my own business. But this is a marathon, not a sprint, and I will do it in my own time.
Building your tribe
Networking is vital to sole practitioners for promoting themselves and, more importantly, building solid support. When I started my practice, I had no colleagues to bounce ideas off or to ask questions. I feel strongly that this kind of support is important for my personal development, so I reached out to a fellow mum in practice from my PwC days and asked how she would feel about coming together to set up a small group.
We now have a core group of four accountants (also mums) in practice. We support each other, answer technical questions and get opinions on issues we come across. This group has been vital to growing my confidence and has shown me that there are others also dealing with the same problems.
In my experience, the most important qualities for women in business are self-belief and self-confidence.
I am a great champion of women and our abilities but I have struggled with self-confidence in the last few years. When left unchecked, this self-doubt can be very limiting.
I would love to see the topic of low self-confidence as ways to manage it spoken about more. My self-confidence has grown over time, but it is something I work on and still struggle with to this day.
The more it is discussed, the more women will realise, like me, that they are not alone in this mental battle.
I am also very lucky to be a member of the 2023 Chamber of the Year, Dungarvan and West Waterford Chamber. Through this membership I have found another group of like-minded women on their own business journey. We support each other, attend events together and help each other when we can.
Finding your tribe in business is so important and having that sense of community and support from different groups has had a positive impact on my own business and personal development.
Maria McHugh is Founder Owner of McHugh Accounting and Consultancy
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