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How to develop emotional resilience through self-compassion

Self-compassion is the ability to treat yourself with the same care and kindness as you would a good friend who was going through a difficult and stressful time. 'Unlike self-criticism, which asks if you're good enough, self-compassion asks what's good for you, what do you need?' Kristin Neff Showing compassion to others When we are compassionate to others, we have an intention to be with them through the difficulties they are experiencing and to alleviate their suffering and stress in some way. This can often be very different to the way we treat ourselves through the challenges of life. How often have we provided support for someone we care about and yet end up criticising ourselves endlessly for our various perceived inadequacies or shortcomings. Many of us have been taught to put others first. But neglecting ourselves in order to do this isn't an effective or sustainable long term strategy without considering what we need to keep emotionally well. Maintaining the inner capacity to be there for our family, friends and colleagues is reliant on looking after ourselves well. Self-compassion means you are understanding and kind to yourself when confronted with personal failings and mistakes – after all, whoever said you were supposed to be perfect? Why we need to be compassionate towards ourselves Feeling stressed and being hard on ourselves is very common, especially in a culture which is increasingly performance and target focused. Loneliness and isolation are also increasing in our ever digitally focused world. If you are finding it difficult to manage the many challenges, threats and distractions of our modern world, you are not alone. With current figures of one in four people developing a mental health difficulty in any given year and the rising levels of distress within young people, many people are struggling to align life with their deeper values and needs. A self-critical and unkind stance towards yourself when you are going through testing times will only serve to activate the fight or flight stress response, clouding the minds ability to remain calm. Some people may feel reluctant to develop self-compassion as they might feel the notion is self-indulgent or self-pitying. But developing the ability and strength to face and manage our difficulties, without isolating ourselves from others and becoming absorbed in our own pain is the essence of courageous living. Being able to attend to your own difficulties and challenges wisely will enable you to have the spare emotional capacity to engage with others and life in a more helpful way. According to Kristin Neff there are three key elements to compassion: Self-kindness An ability to relate to ourselves with warmth and kindness. Common humanity The appreciation that we all suffer at times and you are not alone in these feelings. Mindful awareness The ability to view our difficulties in a balanced perspective so that we can keep engaging in life. How to develop emotional resilience There has been much interest in the effects of developing compassion within ourselves from a scientific perspective. Research has shown that people who score high on self-compassion: Cope better with adversities Take more personal initiative and responsibility Are less fearful of making mistakes and being rejected Are more emotionally intelligent, happier and more optimistic Take better care of themselves physically and emotionally The good news is that our compassionate self can be developed and enhanced through training and practice so that we become more attuned to supporting ourselves through the difficulties of life rather than sabotaging ourselves and making situations more unmanageable than they need to be. How to be kinder and more compassionate to yourself Be aware of your internal voice Becoming aware of how we talk to ourselves, the tone of voice we use and language we use gives us the opportunity to move from harshness to supportive tendencies. Noticing the good Being able to notice and celebrate moments of the day and our good qualities is an essential part of managing and balancing difficult times. Each day ask yourself: When have I been at my best today for someone else? What has been my best moment of today? Give yourself encouragement It is more effective to become your own internal ally and support system rather than your own harshest critic. Written by: Kirsty Lilley Kirsty has delivered mindfulness and self-compassion courses to a wide variety of workplaces during her career and is also a trained psychotherapist and coach. She has worked at a strategic level within organisations developing wellbeing policies and been responsible for developing training courses on improving mental health and wellbeing. Kirsty is committed to an integrated and compassionate approach when helping others to fulfil their potential. Article reproduced with the kind permission of CABA, the organisation providing lifelong support to ICAEW members, ACA students and their close family around the world.

May 09, 2024
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Understanding academic burnout

Edel Walsh outlines the signs and symptoms of academic burnout and explains how students can overcome it Since the pandemic, we have been hearing and talking more about people suffering with workplace burnout. However, in my own coaching practice, I am seeing the rise of academic burnout, a subject not often discussed. According to the World Health Organization, “Burnout is a syndrome conceptualised as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed”. Academic burnout is not simply a result of a challenging course load. It can be several factors that overwhelm students, leaving them feeling drained and disengaged.  Common contributors include: Excessive workload – This leads to overwhelm, stress and exhaustion;  Perfectionism – students may have unrealistic expectations causing frustration and disappointment; and Lack of support – students can feel socially isolated where there is a lack of support from their peers, family, friends, and the workplace.  Symptoms of academic burnout The symptoms of academic burnout can present themselves physically, emotionally, and behaviourally.  The physical signs of burnout can include: Feeling tired and drained most of the time; Lowered immunity, frequent illnesses and being unable to shift coughs and colds; Frequent headaches or muscle pain; and Change in appetite or sleep habits. The emotional signs of burnout can include: Sense of failure and self-doubt; Feeling helpless, trapped and defeated;  Detachment; Loss of motivation; and  Increasingly cynical and negative outlook.  Finally, the behavioural signs of burnout can include: Withdrawing from responsibilities; Isolating from others; Procrastinating; Using food, drugs, or alcohol to cope;  Taking out frustrations on others; and  Skipping out on study or even skipping exams. When it comes to burnout, it is useful to think about the “three R” approach. Recognise: Know the signs of burnout. Reverse: Seek support to manage stress and overwhelm. Resilience: Take care of both physical and emotional health Preventing academic burnout As discussed in Dee Frances’s article on page 8, it is important for students to find balance between work, study, and other commitments. At the start of every week, get a bird’s eye view of what the week ahead looks like and plan your week from there. Creating a realistic schedule for your work, study, and other commitments, as outlined by Moira Dunne at page 14, will give you the feeling that you are in control. Ensure you are incorporating plenty of breaks into your routine and be sure to have something in your week that you can look forward to.  I always encourage students to incorporate self-care into their weekly plan and study routines. Prioritising self-care and breaks fuels productivity when it comes to study.  There is no magic formula when it comes to self-care while you study. It will depend on you as an individual. It can be as simple as going for a nice walk, meeting a friend for a coffee or listening to a podcast that is not related to your study.  Seek support if you need it. You can do anything, but you can’t do everything. Develop a strong support system through peer groups, friends and family that will champion and support you.  Overcoming academic burnout For those of you who are grappling with academic burnout there are number of things you can do. Take some time to understand the root cause of the burnout. This will help you identify areas for improvement.  Seek support from a healthcare professional.  Reflect on your goals. Most students will have set a performance goal such as “I want to pass my exam first time around”. When we focus on a performance goal such as this, it can feel overwhelming. Instead, break this goal down into a learning goal. Instead of focusing on the outcome, focus on the lesson. For example, “Today I want to learn the conditions of retirement relief. I will check my understanding of this by doing a past exam question”. This will help reduce that feeling of overwhelm.  Prioritising your sleep, nutrition, exercise, and hobbies will go a long way in helping you overcome burnout.  Incorporate breathing or mindfulness into your study routine. This will help you move from a stressed state to a calmer state. A simple technique is to take a deep abdominal breath in for seven seconds and breathe out for eleven seconds. When the “out” breath is longer than the “in” breath, it is activating the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest) and easing the sympathetic nervous system (fight, flight, or freeze). By recognising the signs of academic burnout, implementing preventive strategies, and seeking help when needed, students can navigate the pressures of their exams, while preserving their mental health and well-being.  Edel Walsh is a student and exam coach. She supports her clients with their studies and exams using a holistic approach of focusing on academic success, personal development and looking after their well-being. For more information, check out www.edelwalsh.ie  

May 02, 2024
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Be productive with eight exam study tips

Moira Dunne outlines eight top tips to make the most of your study sessions this exam season During exams, it can be hard to manage your time when you are studying alone, concentrate for long periods of time and stay motivated day to day.  Here are some study tips to help you stay calm and ace your exams. The list includes things to do in advance to set yourself up for a day of studying, as well as ideas to stay on track. Tip 1: Have a dedicated study space Set up a good study space; a place that helps you ‘get in the zone’ when you sit down to hit the books.  Not everyone has the luxury of a separate room, but even if you are studying in a shared room in your house, think about the best way to set the space up. Here are some things to consider:  Get a comfortable chair; Have your desk and screen at the correct height to minimise neck or arm strain; Clear any clutter to create a calm, clean area. This helps your mind stay clear; and Add a picture or plant to inspire you to spend time in the space. Tip 2: Get organised New items in our arsenal can motivate us to get started. Plan ahead and get all the stationery and tools you need before you have to put pen to paper. This saves time when you are studying.  This method can also stop you from procrastinating, as we often use basic prep as a reason to procrastinate. Bright stationery stimulates the brain, too. By using these tools to summarise and organise your thoughts, you are making it easier for your brain to retain and recall information.  Tip 3: Make a study plan If you know your exam start date, work backwards and count how many days you have to prepare. Identify some key points to reach (milestones) along the way. Then divide up your work, considering:  What is the best order to study your subjects? How much can you do each day? What are the milestones and when?  By planning your topics for each day, or even each half day, you are breaking up the big pile of work into manageable chunks, making it easier for the brain to get started and stay focused. Whatever study plan you create, make it visible on the wall or your desktop. And make sure you review it and amend it as things change. Staying on top of and updating your plan as you go is key to making your plan work for you. Tip 4: Have a regular routine It helps our mind and our body to have a regular routine.  Study at the same time each day. If you have a full day, start early as that’s when our energy and focus is generally higher. This makes it easier to concentrate and learn, and you will get through elements quicker. If possible, finish early and take a break. This helps your brain to rest and switch off before you try to sleep. Tip 5: Remove distractions We all know how distracting our phones are. Every time there is a notification, we want to check it. We also pick up our devices and check them subconsciously, distracting us unintentionally. Everyone will have a range of distractions in their study space. We can’t easily eliminate humans or pets, so our phone is one thing we can control. To enable a short burst of concentration, leave your phone in another room. Even if only it’s only for 30 minutes, you can focus, concentrate and learn during that time.  Once that 30 minutes is over, take a short break, check your phone if you need to, and return to focus again after five minutes. Out of sight is out of mind, so you are less likely to miss the phone or pick it up without realising it.  Tip 6: Be active – test yourself It is very hard to focus and concentrate if you are just reading for long periods of time. So, make your studying an active exercise. Here are some ways you can do it: Make summary notes at the end of each topic; Highlight key points; Create reference cards for revisions; Take a test or a quiz; or Test yourself with past exam questions. Tip 7: Eat well and hydrate Sometimes, you will need treats and snacks for motivation or even a quick energy boost. Lots of foods are known to help concentration and focus; find out what works for you and include them in your diet when studying.  It is important to keep your brain hydrated, as well. Drink water instead of energy drinks or several cups of coffee as both can be dehydrating. Hydration and eating well will help your brain learn but also retain knowledge. They will also help you sleep better, which sets you up or a productive day of study. Tip 8: Take breaks Our bodies and our minds go through peaks and troughs throughout the day. So, breaks are essential to help recharge and reset. Plan regular, short breaks into your study schedule, along with a longer lunchbreak. Use the longer break to get some fresh air to help clear the cobwebs.  Being outside also free up your mind; the wide-open spaces help to calm the brain too. Don’t overdo your study time. Shorter productive sessions are better than long days. Have an evening routine to wind down. Or change your focus with a movie or some other calming activity. Best of Luck We hope these eight study tips help you. The very best of luck with your exam preparation and your exams this year.  Be kind to yourself and be proud of your hard work. Moira Dunne is Founder of beproductive.ie  

May 02, 2024
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Change the filter and boost your wellbeing

Embracing a positive perspective is a key ingredient for personal wellbeing. Aaron O’Connell asks you to consider whether you’re a glass half full or glass half empty person, and he provides a useful exercise to help you view life with a different filter and to boost your well-being. Some questions for you to consider Do you have tendency to see things positively where you are focusing on the good things that happen around you, or do you focus on the negatives, those obstacles and problems you face?  If you have a to-do list and you manage to successfully complete 19 out of 20 things, are you happy about the long list of things you’ve accomplished, or are you upset about that one thing that you didn’t get to finish? It’s your choice A hundred good things (little highlights) and one bad thing (a little low-light) might happen during your day. You have the opportunity to appreciate and remember all the good things, or to focus only on the bad things. You can look at life through a different filter. Embracing a positive perspective One useful exercise I recommend to the athletes, students and business people I work with, and indeed practice myself every night at bedtime, is to recall seven positive things that happen during the day. It’s something I picked up from internationally acclaimed sport psychologist, Dr. Terry Orlick. Before you sleep, look back over your day chronologically and highlight those good things that happened. They don’t have to be major events. Little highlights will do. “I had a lovely breakfast.” “The sun was shining today.” “I got a call from a good friend.” “I went for a lovely walk today.” You could begin this exercise by recalling three positives and increase by one each time after a few days. Look for different ones each day. As Dr. Orlick would say, it’s like “using a yellow magic marker to highlight all the good things you do, see, hear, taste, feel, and learn in a day.” Even better, write them down in a journal or on your phone. You’ll get a buzz out of revisiting and re-reading these when you’ve had a tough day. Using a different filter and living with a positive perspective is like becoming your own best friend. It’ll change your outlook in life for the good. Challenge yourself to look for seven highlights a day. Once you start looking for them and finding them, your day and your life immediately become better. You’ll experience a boost in wellbeing along with an increase in gratitude. Aaron O’Connell is the owner of Mind Your Performance. He provides consultancy and training in mental skills, mental well-being, and performance enhancement for the education, business, and sports sector. Thrive is the Institute’s dedicated wellbeing hub which provides emotional and practical support to our members, students, and their family members for life. Should you find yourself in a difficult situation, the team at Thrive can help steer you through life’s ups and downs.  Talk to us today on mobile: (353) 86 024 3294 or email us.  

Apr 04, 2024
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IWD: Step into your Power Sparkling Lunch Event

Happy International Women’s Day!  Yesterday (March 7), Thrive and the Institute’s Member Experience team welcomed over 100 guests to our Step into your Power Sparkling Lunch in celebration of International Women’s Day.   In the wonderful surroundings of the Dean Townhouse, we were joined by members and students of the chartered community who had travelled from all corners of Ireland to attend the event.  In her opening address, Dee France, from the Institute’s Thrive Wellbeing Hub, outlined the importance of shining a spotlight on some of the key challenges women continue to face in the workplace and at home, while celebrating the many advances made in recent times.  Guests enjoyed a keynote speech from Aoife Hughes, founder of FRAZZLE, entitled “How to run your home like a business” where attendees were encouraged to manage their time and boundaries more effectively while outsourcing and delegating the workload to give themselves more time for self-care ultimately leading to “calm in the chaos”.  Aisling McCaffrey, Director at Grant Thornton, facilitated a panel discussion covering some key issues of the day namely how to build confidence in the workplace, the importance of male allyship and how leaders can champion inclusion, and childcare reform and what the Institute is doing in this important area.  The panellists, Charlotte Rose Keating, founder Act on it Coaching, Andrew Keating, CFO at Musgrave and the Institute’s Tax and Public Policy Lead, Cróna Clohisey, shared many important insights into how they navigate their own personal challenges and successes both in their professional and personal lives.   The final segment of the afternoon was a fireside chat with President, Sinead Donovan and CASSI Chair Caelainn McGonigle.  Sinead outlined that, despite the many highs and lows in her 33 year career as a Chartered Accountant, the Institute had been the one constant during that time.  She shared her passion for sport and running and the importance of having a “release valve” when times get tough. Asking for help and leaning on the allies around you, was her parting advice for the #nextgen leaders of the future.   The event was also raising funds for two very important charities, CA Support (the Institute’s in-house charity and benevolent fund), and Women’s Aid, who had recently supported the Institute in the launch of its Domestic Violence Policy.  Brian Murphy, chair of CA Support, outlined the importance of donating vital funds to CA Support as the majority of the cases the charity support are families – mothers and fathers who have encountered adversity and are in dire need of assistance.   The final thoughts of the day were summed up by President Sinead Donovan, who implored anyone in the family of accountants who is struggling to seek out support from those around them.  Dee France, in her closing remarks, reminded all attendees of the Institute’s Thrive Wellbeing Hub and that the confidential service is open to all, whatever stage of their chartered journey.   Thank you to all who attended.  View photos from the event here.

Mar 08, 2024
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The crucial role men can play in shaping a gender-balanced workplace

Men can proactively contribute to dismantling gender barriers at work and challenging stereotypes. Dawn Leane explains how While much of the conversation concerning gender balance focuses on supporting women, men have a pivotal role to play in dismantling barriers, challenging stereotypes and reshaping organisational culture. Gender balance is not a zero-sum game. Men are also negatively impacted by outdated workplace environments – family-friendly policies aimed solely at women, for example. The active involvement of male allies can be an agent for positive change and can have a profound impact by raising awareness about gender bias, sexism and other forms of discrimination facing women in the workplace and wider society. Yet it can prove very challenging for men to confront the issues encountered by their female colleagues. The subject is complex and organisational culture and norms of behaviour often don’t support their intervention. Take, for example, the issue of everyday sexism at work. A report by Catalyst, an organisation committed to advancing the representation of women in the workplace, suggests that not only is it difficult to recognise sexism in the first place or deem it inappropriate, but men are often unsure of how to address the behaviour when they do recognise it. The report suggests that men’s willingness to intervene depends on two factors: personal agency and organisational climate. Men who are committed to dismantling sexism are more likely to take action. They are confident in their ability to interrupt and aware of the positive benefits of doing so for the common good. An unwillingness to interrupt a sexist event in their workplace is also influenced by organisational climate. Environments perceived by men to be more silencing, combative and futile are associated with a lack of response to sexism at work. As Peter Drucker famously said, ‘Culture eats strategy for breakfast’. How, then, can men help to create a workplace culture where everyone, regardless of gender, can thrive and succeed? Understand the issues: Men can start by informing themselves about the challenges women face in their workplace, bearing in mind that cultural issues can differ from team to team and from one organisation to the next. Challenge sexism and stereotypes: Actively challenging and questioning gender stereotypes involves avoiding assumptions about roles and capabilities based on gender. Use language that is neutral and avoids reinforcing gender stereotypes. Amplify the voices of women in the workplace: Create an environment that is psychologically safe for women to contribute. For example, give credit where it's due, acknowledge achievements and ensure that success is rewarded. Mentorship and sponsorship: Men can play a vital role in mentoring and sponsoring women within organisations. This involves offering guidance, providing opportunities for skill development and advocating for women in leadership positions. Advocate for equal opportunities: Men can use their positions of influence to advocate for equal opportunities. This includes pushing for fair selection practices, equal pay and creating policies that support work-life balance for all employees. Set an example: Demonstrating a commitment to gender balance through their own actions might involve actively participating in gender balance initiatives, acknowledging and rectifying biased behaviour and setting an example for others to follow. Speak up against discrimination: When men witness gender discrimination or inappropriate behaviour, it is crucial to speak up. Being an ally means actively confronting and addressing instances of discrimination, both direct and indirect. By embracing these actions, men can help create a more level playing field for their female counterparts – this can only be good for all involved. Dawn Leane is Chief Learning and Development Officer at Advancia

Feb 29, 2024
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