Self-compassion is the ability to treat yourself with the same care and kindness as you would a good friend who was going through a difficult and stressful time. 'Unlike self-criticism, which asks if you're good enough, self-compassion asks what's good for you, what do you need?' Kristin Neff Showing compassion to others When we are compassionate to others, we have an intention to be with them through the difficulties they are experiencing and to alleviate their suffering and stress in some way. This can often be very different to the way we treat ourselves through the challenges of life. How often have we provided support for someone we care about and yet end up criticising ourselves endlessly for our various perceived inadequacies or shortcomings. Many of us have been taught to put others first. But neglecting ourselves in order to do this isn't an effective or sustainable long term strategy without considering what we need to keep emotionally well. Maintaining the inner capacity to be there for our family, friends and colleagues is reliant on looking after ourselves well. Self-compassion means you are understanding and kind to yourself when confronted with personal failings and mistakes – after all, whoever said you were supposed to be perfect? Why we need to be compassionate towards ourselves Feeling stressed and being hard on ourselves is very common, especially in a culture which is increasingly performance and target focused. Loneliness and isolation are also increasing in our ever digitally focused world. If you are finding it difficult to manage the many challenges, threats and distractions of our modern world, you are not alone. With current figures of one in four people developing a mental health difficulty in any given year and the rising levels of distress within young people, many people are struggling to align life with their deeper values and needs. A self-critical and unkind stance towards yourself when you are going through testing times will only serve to activate the fight or flight stress response, clouding the minds ability to remain calm. Some people may feel reluctant to develop self-compassion as they might feel the notion is self-indulgent or self-pitying. But developing the ability and strength to face and manage our difficulties, without isolating ourselves from others and becoming absorbed in our own pain is the essence of courageous living. Being able to attend to your own difficulties and challenges wisely will enable you to have the spare emotional capacity to engage with others and life in a more helpful way. According to Kristin Neff there are three key elements to compassion: Self-kindness An ability to relate to ourselves with warmth and kindness. Common humanity The appreciation that we all suffer at times and you are not alone in these feelings. Mindful awareness The ability to view our difficulties in a balanced perspective so that we can keep engaging in life. How to develop emotional resilience There has been much interest in the effects of developing compassion within ourselves from a scientific perspective. Research has shown that people who score high on self-compassion: Cope better with adversities Take more personal initiative and responsibility Are less fearful of making mistakes and being rejected Are more emotionally intelligent, happier and more optimistic Take better care of themselves physically and emotionally The good news is that our compassionate self can be developed and enhanced through training and practice so that we become more attuned to supporting ourselves through the difficulties of life rather than sabotaging ourselves and making situations more unmanageable than they need to be. How to be kinder and more compassionate to yourself Be aware of your internal voice Becoming aware of how we talk to ourselves, the tone of voice we use and language we use gives us the opportunity to move from harshness to supportive tendencies. Noticing the good Being able to notice and celebrate moments of the day and our good qualities is an essential part of managing and balancing difficult times. Each day ask yourself: When have I been at my best today for someone else? What has been my best moment of today? Give yourself encouragement It is more effective to become your own internal ally and support system rather than your own harshest critic. Written by: Kirsty Lilley Kirsty has delivered mindfulness and self-compassion courses to a wide variety of workplaces during her career and is also a trained psychotherapist and coach. She has worked at a strategic level within organisations developing wellbeing policies and been responsible for developing training courses on improving mental health and wellbeing. Kirsty is committed to an integrated and compassionate approach when helping others to fulfil their potential. Article reproduced with the kind permission of CABA, the organisation providing lifelong support to ICAEW members, ACA students and their close family around the world.

Embracing a positive perspective is a key ingredient for personal wellbeing. Aaron O’Connell asks you to consider whether you’re a glass half full or glass half empty person, and he provides a useful exercise to help you view life with a different filter and to boost your well-being. Some questions for you to consider Do you have tendency to see things positively where you are focusing on the good things that happen around you, or do you focus on the negatives, those obstacles and problems you face?  If you have a to-do list and you manage to successfully complete 19 out of 20 things, are you happy about the long list of things you’ve accomplished, or are you upset about that one thing that you didn’t get to finish? It’s your choice A hundred good things (little highlights) and one bad thing (a little low-light) might happen during your day. You have the opportunity to appreciate and remember all the good things, or to focus only on the bad things. You can look at life through a different filter. Embracing a positive perspective One useful exercise I recommend to the athletes, students and business people I work with, and indeed practice myself every night at bedtime, is to recall seven positive things that happen during the day. It’s something I picked up from internationally acclaimed sport psychologist, Dr. Terry Orlick. Before you sleep, look back over your day chronologically and highlight those good things that happened. They don’t have to be major events. Little highlights will do. “I had a lovely breakfast.” “The sun was shining today.” “I got a call from a good friend.” “I went for a lovely walk today.” You could begin this exercise by recalling three positives and increase by one each time after a few days. Look for different ones each day. As Dr. Orlick would say, it’s like “using a yellow magic marker to highlight all the good things you do, see, hear, taste, feel, and learn in a day.” Even better, write them down in a journal or on your phone. You’ll get a buzz out of revisiting and re-reading these when you’ve had a tough day. Using a different filter and living with a positive perspective is like becoming your own best friend. It’ll change your outlook in life for the good. Challenge yourself to look for seven highlights a day. Once you start looking for them and finding them, your day and your life immediately become better. You’ll experience a boost in wellbeing along with an increase in gratitude. Aaron O’Connell is the owner of Mind Your Performance. He provides consultancy and training in mental skills, mental well-being, and performance enhancement for the education, business, and sports sector. Thrive is the Institute’s dedicated wellbeing hub which provides emotional and practical support to our members, students, and their family members for life. Should you find yourself in a difficult situation, the team at Thrive can help steer you through life’s ups and downs.  Talk to us today on mobile: (353) 86 024 3294 or email us.  

Insomnia is a sleep disorder in which you have trouble falling and/or staying asleep. It is suggested that 42% of Irish adults have a mental health disorder with insomnia cited as the most common disorder experienced by adults in Ireland at 15%. Here, the Thrive wellbeing team explains insomnia, the symptoms, causes and tips to help you get a better night's sleep. Insomnia means you have problematic sleep habits. How much sleep an individual needs varies from person to person, but on average adults need 7-9 hours of sleep per night. If you are experiencing constant tiredness throughout the day, you are probably not getting enough sleep. Symptoms Insomnia can affect people on a short-term basis (less than 3 months). Insomnia that lasts 3 months or longer is classified as long-term insomnia. Insomnia symptoms may include: Difficult falling asleep A pattern of interrupted or broken sleep that doesn’t refresh you Waking too early Daytime tiredness and sleepiness Find it hard to nap during the day even though you're tired Difficulty paying attention, concentrating, or focusing on tasks Increased forgetfulness Irritability, depression, or anxiety What causes insomnia? Insomnia can be the primary problem but usually is a result of other factors that disrupt sleep. Therefore, treating the underlying causes can help improve insomnia symptoms. Common causes of insomnia include: Stress Irregular sleep schedule or poor sleeping habits Mental health disorders such as anxiety or depression Physical illness or chronic pain Travel or work schedules Lifestyle choices e.g., heavy reliance on stimulants such as alcohol, caffeine, or nicotine Age and life stage- older adults and those going through menopause have a higher susceptibility to chronic insomnia A combination of these factors can trigger or exacerbate insomnia, while poor sleep can initiate or worsen other health conditions, creating a vicious and complex cause and effect situation. Risk factors   During sleep, the body heals and restores itself, our brain forges new pathways and connections that helps with memory retention.  This is the time our bodies needs to carry out important functions to ensure we are running smoothly and effectively. When we continually don’t get enough sleep, it can have serious health effects over time. Science has linked poor sleep and insomnia to a multitude of health problems. A lack of sleep over time can increase the chances of developing a number of conditions such as a weakened immune system, obesity, high blood pressure, stroke, heart disease among other issues such as increased risk of accidents and errors, poor memory and performance and difficulty regulating our emotions. How you can treat insomnia yourself It is not always possible to prevent insomnia, but good sleep habits can help improve it and promote sound sleep. When trying to get your sleep cycle on track, the first place to start with is where you sleep. Make sure your room is dark and quiet, not to cold or warm and make sure your mattress, pillows and covers are comfortable. Create a good bedtime routine that helps you relax and get in the mood for sleep. Relax at least 1 hour before bed and only go to bed when you feel tired, limiting the use of technology and bright lights can help too. Try to maintain roughly the same schedule for sleeping, you should aim to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on the weekends. Exercise regularly and get some sunlight most days. Sun exposure helps regulate the body’s internal body clock and promotes sleep at night, while exercise influences sleep efficiency on both a physical and mental level. Insomnia can seriously affect your mental and emotional health along with physical wellbeing. If your sleep is impacting your day-to-day life and a change in sleeping habits haven’t work, you should consult your GP. Thrive can also help you on your journey to better sleep. For advice, wellness coaching or counselling, contact the team by email at: thrive@charteredaccountants.ie or by phone: (+353) 86 0243294

Happy International Women’s Day!  Yesterday (March 7), Thrive and the Institute’s Member Experience team welcomed over 100 guests to our Step into your Power Sparkling Lunch in celebration of International Women’s Day.   In the wonderful surroundings of the Dean Townhouse, we were joined by members and students of the chartered community who had travelled from all corners of Ireland to attend the event.  In her opening address, Dee France, from the Institute’s Thrive Wellbeing Hub, outlined the importance of shining a spotlight on some of the key challenges women continue to face in the workplace and at home, while celebrating the many advances made in recent times.  Guests enjoyed a keynote speech from Aoife Hughes, founder of FRAZZLE, entitled “How to run your home like a business” where attendees were encouraged to manage their time and boundaries more effectively while outsourcing and delegating the workload to give themselves more time for self-care ultimately leading to “calm in the chaos”.  Aisling McCaffrey, Director at Grant Thornton, facilitated a panel discussion covering some key issues of the day namely how to build confidence in the workplace, the importance of male allyship and how leaders can champion inclusion, and childcare reform and what the Institute is doing in this important area.  The panellists, Charlotte Rose Keating, founder Act on it Coaching, Andrew Keating, CFO at Musgrave and the Institute’s Tax and Public Policy Lead, Cróna Clohisey, shared many important insights into how they navigate their own personal challenges and successes both in their professional and personal lives.   The final segment of the afternoon was a fireside chat with President, Sinead Donovan and CASSI Chair Caelainn McGonigle.  Sinead outlined that, despite the many highs and lows in her 33 year career as a Chartered Accountant, the Institute had been the one constant during that time.  She shared her passion for sport and running and the importance of having a “release valve” when times get tough. Asking for help and leaning on the allies around you, was her parting advice for the #nextgen leaders of the future.   The event was also raising funds for two very important charities, CA Support (the Institute’s in-house charity and benevolent fund), and Women’s Aid, who had recently supported the Institute in the launch of its Domestic Violence Policy.  Brian Murphy, chair of CA Support, outlined the importance of donating vital funds to CA Support as the majority of the cases the charity support are families – mothers and fathers who have encountered adversity and are in dire need of assistance.   The final thoughts of the day were summed up by President Sinead Donovan, who implored anyone in the family of accountants who is struggling to seek out support from those around them.  Dee France, in her closing remarks, reminded all attendees of the Institute’s Thrive Wellbeing Hub and that the confidential service is open to all, whatever stage of their chartered journey.   Thank you to all who attended.  View photos from the event here.

Paul Guess explains what work-related burnout means and outlines the pivotal role managers can play in prevention and recovery Many people think of ‘burnout’ as solely related to how much they work. They believe just taking some time off will relieve feelings of overwhelm and pressure and that they can quickly return to work feeling refreshed and renewed. Several factors can cause burnout, however, and it is unlikely to be resolved by taking a break. One of the most important contributors to a person’s well-being at work is their relationship with their manager. As burnout has been classified as an “occupational phenomenon” by the World Health Organization, support at work is essential to curb the rising tide of overwhelm at work.  The manager's role is critical in assessing and addressing employee burnout. Here are some tips to support leaders in preventing and managing burnout in their teams. 1. Be knowledgeable about the factors that contribute to burnout  Research has indicated the six areas that, when left unchecked, can lead to burnout. Recognising how these areas impact a team can give leaders a better idea of how to improve.  Workload Do staff have a clearly defined job description, and are their responsibilities reasonable? Additionally, do they have the resources they need to fulfil the duties assigned to them? Perceived lack of control When people feel they have a say in the decisions being made that are related to their job, it can positively affect well-being and reduce feelings of disengagement and cynicism.  Appreciation and reward When people feel the extrinsic and intrinsic rewards of their job don’t match their effort and time, they can become disengaged and unmotivated – a key indicator of burnout. Fairness Ensure that people receive fair and equitable treatment. Transparency and trust are the foundations of psychological safety within the workplace, and innovation and creativity flow from this. It is essential to effectively communicate the thinking behind decisions that impact them. Community It is vital that people feel a sense of belonging within the organisation. Develop opportunities to bring teams together and keep connections strong to build positive relationships, as loneliness and isolation are often drivers of poor mental health and well-being. Values Do the leadership’s behaviours create an environment in which people feel that it’s okay to look after their well-being? Role modelling and recognising their own management style and how it contributes to an employee’s experience is an important piece of reflective work that will lead to improved relationships. 2. Pay attention to the warning signs of poor mental health There are common indicators of burnout that managers should be aware of: poor decision making; reduced concentration levels;  feelings of overwhelm;  withdrawal; procrastination;  inability to prioritise tasks effectively;  poor timekeeping;  relationship difficulties;  expressions of anger and frustration; and  increasing cynicism and disengagement. If a manager notices these behaviours in a team member,  they must be aware of how to manage burnout in an employee. There are several steps they should take:  Start supportive conversations  Managers should use one-on-one opportunities to start exploring what might be driving any difficulty. Some people will need a little encouragement to open up, so actively listening to what they say, creating space and responding sensitively will help to reassure them that their manager is there to support them. If they feel stressed or overwhelmed by their workload, guide them on how to handle pressure. Set clear goals and spotlight progress When people don’t have clear goals, they either become stuck because they are unsure where to invest their energy or frantically churn out work in the hope it will be valuable. Good leadership involves setting clear goals that contribute to the team’s success. It’s also important to recognise progress and highlight any accomplishments or achievements by individuals or the team. Protect the team’s time A manager must protect their team’s time, especially regarding their well-being. Ensure that people take time off in light of illness, bereavement or other notable situations. Encourage people to take their annual holiday allowance and have some protected time to rest and decompress during periods away from work. Managers should always be practising the behaviours they encourage, so they must be sure to take their own time off as well. Paul Guess is a mental wellbeing expert at caba, the occupational charity supporting ICAEW

Strong social connections not only impact our mental health but our physical health too. In today’s world, we lead increasingly busy lives and often our relationships can sadly fall by the wayside. Feeling socially connected is more important than ever, especially after a long period where our social interactions are restricted, and our close circle reduced. Here, Thrive discuss the importance of maintaining and prioritising our relationships for our overall health. We're designed to be social We all know that comforting upbeat feeling of human connection, when you come away from a catch up with friends feeling more positive, happier, and even lighter. As a species, human beings are inherently social creatures.  We are biologically wired to seek out connection from a time where humans hunted in tribes and being part of a group was necessary for survival. Humans need closeness, connection, and a sense of unity to thrive. Social connection is one of our core psychological needs which means it plays an essential role in how safe and satisfied we feel in our lives. Social groups provide us with an important part of our identity, forming who we are and teach us a set of skills and norms that help us to function throughout life. In today’s world though we lead increasingly busy lives trying to juggle and balance work, family, and other commitments. Often our friendships can fall to the wayside. However, strong connection and belonging to something bigger than ourselves are important for our overall health and wellbeing. The benefits of connectedness should not be overlooked, and therefore as a society we should be placing greater emphasis on investing in our friendships. The more connected we feel to other people, the more enriched our life becomes. Friendship and being part of a social group offer a variety of mental health benefits. It increases our feeling of belonging, boosts our sense of purpose, and improves our self-worth and confidence. Connectiveness helps us regulate our emotions, leads to higher levels of empathy and compassion, and can even reduce our stress levels. Studies show that people who feel connected to others report lower rates of anxiety and depression. Not only does good social connection impact our psychological wellbeing, its impacts our physical health as well. Countless studies have shown a lack of human connection and feelings of loneliness are more harmful to our health than obesity, smoking and high blood pressure. By neglecting our need to connect, we put our health at risk. It can even lengthen our lives. Extensive research that looked at the lifestyles of inhabitants within Blue Zone areas, a term given to geographically regions that are home to some of the world’s oldest people, found healthy social networks and high levels of community engagement were commonalities among the differing zones. Our relationships and social groups can alter the course of our life, shape the person we are and can change our perception of ourselves and the world as well as offer an important support system.  So as you can see, social connectedness creates a positive cycle of good social, emotional and physical wellbeing. To forge happy and healthy relationships, it is very important we continually attend to and nurture our connection with the people we consider important in our lives. After an incredibly long period where our social interactions were restricted and ultimately reduced, you may find your sense of connection has diminished. Here are some ways you can improve your social health and reignite your connection with others; Reach out to a friend you may have lost touch with, remember it’s never too late to spark up an old friendship! Take time to ring or meet up with a friend you have not seen in a while. Join a new club or try out a group activity: focus in on your interests and you’ll be sure to find a club or group full of like-minded people. Volunteer: this can strengthen your sense of purpose, provides an opportunity to meet new people and give back to your community. Invite a co-worker out for lunch: now we have more freedom to socialise why not reconnect with your favourite work colleague or arrange a work group activity. Spend quality time with family: this could be planning a family BBQ, a movie night on the weekend or a family day out. Be Present: Step away from your devices when you are in company and have an uninterrupted chat. Social isolation is a challenging aspect of life to cope with and is detrimental to your health, please know the Thrive team  is here to lend a friendly ear, if and when you need it.